First Date Talk

Ever go on a first date and then had nothing to say? That can be a big drawback because silence and awkward moments will NOT help you get a second date.

That's why planning for your first date talk in advance is a good practice. It helps to stop your mind from drawing a blank, your words coming out wrong and stuttering. And when you can eliminate those ailments you should feel much less anxious.

Now, if you know you are meeting a woman, whether it's for a date, or at work or at the gym or where ever, then you can gain the greatest advantage by pre-planning your conversations in advance.

Before you meet up, it's a good idea to be prepared and have lots of stuff to talk about (this does not mean you have to be blabbing all the time, listening can do wonders).

Also, try not to stall in your approach because the longer you leave your approach and stand around admiring her or allowing nasty thoughts to enter your mind, the more anxious you will be when you finally approach her.

So you want to make sure the moment you see her, you walk straight up to her and greet her. That way you don't give your mind a chance to be negative or anxious.

When you do approach her, it's very important to make eye contact. I know some people don't make eye contact because they're shy or anxious.

However, planning your first date talk, getting out the pen and paper and thinking about what you will say, starting with your greeting, reduces the anxiety.

Depending on how well you know this woman, will impact on how you will greet her. But it's always my policy to try coming up with something creative if I can. It's good to keep it interesting, unique.

Once you have sorted your greeting (side note: you could throw in a wink, or wiggle your eyebrows, this denotes how confident you are to her - women love confidence), then work out a few other things you might want to ask her.

Write out a few questions that you think might spark her interest, and write out a story or two about yourself that you would like to share with her.

You don't have to write it down if you don't want to, you can just run it over in your mind. But writing it out and then reading and re-reading it, is actually proven to help you remember more and imprint it into your mind. You are much less likely to forget then.

If you are unsure of what stories you would like to tell, I can give you a few pointers to get you on your way. I usually stick with something that's a little humorous, even if it's a little embarrassing on my side of the fence.

Stories can trigger a memory in the listener of similar value and encourage them to tell a story on similar lines.

Questions will also give you a good understanding and feel for the woman that you want to get to know. And people truly love talking about themselves.

Personally I think speaking about the weather is a bad topic. It's usually what people ask or talk on when they can't think of anything else to say. Besides it's a little over used.

I'm not saying to stay away from all types of common questions. You need to ask common questions in order to learn new things about someone.

In fact, I will even give you a list of good common questions to ask so you can get to know her even more. And I'll give you a list of not so common questions that may spark some excitement.

I've banked up quite a large number of questions that I use often. But I won't list all of them here. Besides some of them may not be suitable for me to mention here and I don't want to offend anyone.

Common questions you could ask:

• How many brothers and sisters do you have?

• Where were you born?

• Where did you attend school?

• What's your favorite color?

• What's your favorite number?

• What's your favorite movie?

• What's your favorite song?

• Who's your favorite band?

• What's your favorite food?

• What's your favorite drink?

• Where were your parents born?

• Do you have any pets?

• What do you do for a living?

• What's your dream house look like?

• If you could holiday anywhere in the world, where would you choose?

• What's your favorite item of clothing?

Yes, I know they are pretty darn simple questions, but if you have them written down, or drawing a blank when writing your list, at least you can always refer to this list to help keep you on track.

Now for some not so common questions you could ask:

• What's the most embarrassing moment you've ever had? If she doesn't want to tell you, you can tell her an embarrassing story to get her laughing and maybe open up to you.

• What was the best birthday present you ever received as a kid? You could also use Christmas present, or leave out the kid part.

• What's the most unusual dream you have ever had? (oh, and for the record most women could talk to you about their dreams all day).

• Do you pee in the shower? (if you are feeling brave enough to ask that, it might get a giggle out of her).

• What's your 5 year goal plan? Now depending on the age of the woman you are speaking to, the response to this can greatly vary. To a lot of the younger one's they will stare blankly at you for a minute or two until they can rummage up something. But a lot of older people can usually rattle off a pile of things they are actioning for the next 5 years. Either age group, I'd still ask this question, it's always nice to know what their plans are.

All this is not rocket science, it's actually quite simple. There are no real secrets to being successful at first date talk, it's mostly logical thinking.