Below are some examples of foreplay techniques you can use to get your partner in the right mood before sexual intercourse. These techniques can be used together, but remember to start slowly and build on the passion. If you move too quickly, you won’t achieve the desired effect.

1. Dirty talking – Never underestimate the power of words to turn on your partner. Imagine looking into your partner’s eyes over dinner at a nice restaurant and whispering, “You look so sexy tonight I can barely keep my hands off of you.” You can even follow it up with a description of what you’d like to do to her. For example, you might say, “When we get home, I’m going to slowly undress you, lay you down on the bed, and give you the best full body massage you’ve ever had.” This kind of comments will make your partner feel desirable and that will increase her arousal, plus she’ll be able to start fantasizing about how your hands are going to feel caressing her body and that’s definitely going to build her anticipation for more. Just remember that you need to follow through with whatever you say. If you promise her an amazing massage, then you need to deliver. Women are not turned on by promise breakers.

2. Gentle touching – I’ve met with women who complain that men don’t know how to touch them. By this they usually mean that men don’t know how to be gentle. For example, they grope their breasts instead of stroking them. A gentle touch even in the most non-sexual place can have incredible results. There’s a scene in a movie that illustrates this point. The movie, Don Juan DeMarco, starred Johnny Depp as a man who believed he was a world class lover who only thought about pleasing the women he was with. In an early scene, he meets a strange woman in a restaurant and sets her on fire simply by stroking part of her hand. While some may argue Johnny Depp could have that effect on a woman without touching her, there is truth to the message the character is conveying. Softly stroking your partner’s shoulders or gliding your hands lightly over her back can send shivery tingles through her body the way other types of touches won’t, especially early on in the arousal process.

3. Kissing – Kissing is an incredible type of foreplay but it is often misused because partners don’t communicate what they like and what they don’t like. There are many, many different ways of kissing romantically and each way is appropriate at different stages of the process. For example, if your partner is merely aroused, you wouldn’t want to begin using a lot of tongue while you’re kissing. Most women seem to dislike a lot of tongue use anyway which surprises most men. Gentle kissing is best at first, including brushing your lips over her fingers, her palm, her earlobes, her inner thighs, even her toes. Remember kissing does not always have to involve her lips. There’s a lot more of her body to touch and taste. As her level of arousal increases, your kissing can become more passionate. If you do use your tongue, only use the tip to touch her tongue or her lips gently. Unless you know for a fact that it turns your partner on, don’t thrust your entire tongue into her mouth. Most women find this to be a turn off.

These three ideas are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to foreplay. After you try these ideas, you should begin experimenting with some techniques of your own. The more you learn about your partner’s body and what pleases her the easier it will be for you to decide how to take her from those flickering flames of arousal to a total inferno of desire.