Do you sometimes feel frustrated when people don't see your point of view?

Are you in a career where you are frequently asked to pitch your message in a way that influences others to take actions?

Would you like to improve your personal relationships by increasing your communication skills?

If your answer is even remotely near to a yes to

any of these questions I urge you to read on!

Let’s face it, if we were to be honest with ourselves we would have to admit that we live in a results oriented society. Because of this, our ability to influence others and communicate ideas to people is central to the amount of success we achieve in life. Thankfully, irrespective of our own personal situation, we can learn to become more powerful and influential communicators. I promise you that, as you embrace the following 3 steps you will begin to find yourself quickly and easily achieving just that.

Step 1. Know your Communication Outcome

A wise man once said: "You can't hit a target you can't see!" This is also true when it comes to our communication. Whether you are communicating with a client, your boss, a work colleague or even a complete stranger, in order to interact successfully you must know your outcome. Do you want the person to take action, buy your product or do you just want to connect and have fun? When you are deciding your outcome, start off by asking the question: "How do I want the person to feel and act after my interaction?" Then have a think how you can structure your communication to achieve your desired result.

Step 2. Gain Rapport

A few years ago (more than a few actually!) I was on a package holiday in Majorca with my friends. It was 3am, we had been traveling for about 6 hours and we were completely exhausted. We were greeted in the hotel lobby by an insanely enthusiastic holiday rep, determined to lift our mood. He immediately started talking to us in a loud, energetic manner, frantically waving his hands in an attempt to raise our depleted energy levels. Of course, he failed miserably. His mistake? He didn't gain rapport before attempting to influence us! So how do we gain rapport with someone? You can do this through a process called matching and mirroring. Start by observing the way they move, the rate at which they speak and breathe, their tonality and their overall energy levels. Then begin to adopt or match some of these mannerisms in your own behavior. By entering a person's world like this they will begin to feel more comfortable with you and become more open to your ideas. Below are some examples of behaviors that you can match that will help you gain a deep sense of rapport with people:

Rate of Breathing,

Gestures,

Mannerisms,

Overall body posture,

Tone and speed of voice,

Overall energy levels,

Step 3. Use the Push and the Pull method

As human beings we are motivated by two things. To move away from pain and to move towards pleasure. I've heard people say "You can't motivate by fear!" Well, I remember being chased by a dog when I was 13 and I felt pretty motivated to run as fast as I could! The only problem was I didn't really have any direction. This is also true when we attempt to motivate someone by giving them a hard time. They may be motivated to move away from the pain you have just delivered but they do not have much of a direction to head in. Because of this, to effectively motivate a person, we must use both the push and the pull. First of all let them know the consequences they will experience if they don't change. In other words, all the negative things that will happen if they stay the same. Then begin to tell them about all the positive benefits they will experience when they have changed or are acting in the way you would like them to act. You may have noticed that I used to push and pull method in the first three questions of this article.