What is quality of life? When asked, most people would rank having a good quality of life as high in their priorities. However, many people are not able to achieve this. The boundaries between each role in their life are not clearly defined.

We each have different roles in our lives. For example, my roles are: Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Volunteer, Professional Life, and Myself. People tend to merge their roles together, thus their view of self becomes muddled. I think this leads to the "Who am I, and What is my purpose" questions.

When at work, people are thinking about personal relationships and home stress. Therefore, they lack a quality work-life, because they are not completely present at work.

When at home, people can get fixated on what needs to be done at work. This leads to a low quality home-life. You can't be on your Blackberry and play with your kids at the same time.

When spending time with friends, people can be fixated on family or work, resulting in poor quality time with their friends. When you are with your friends, you should talk about what is going on in your life. It is important to share your joy and frustrations with the people you trust and care about. However, when you are talking about life, do not let your mind wander to the report you must turn in tomorrow, or what treat you will make for soccer practice. Be an active part of the conversation.

There are times when I get together with friends and we bring our children. Yes, we do have fun, but the conversation is very different. The humor and topics are different; we are more censored. The time spent together is not the same as when we have girl time without our children.

The same can be said for having a date night with your spouse. Yes, it is fun to go out with another couple, but the quality time between you and your spouse is different. You are unable to connect on the same level when there are other people in the mix.

What is the definition for "quality of life"? My definition is being completely present in every situation. Be at work. Be with your friends. Be with your family. Be in this moment.

For some people, material possessions are the definition of "quality of life". A large home, a luxury car, and designer clothes will likely be essential criteria for many in today's society. Often, when people believe this definition, they tend to focus on the next big thing, or outdoing their social group, thus the important things are ignored. This category of people worry about what others have, rather than focusing on the blessings of the moment.

Often, people want something, new jewelry, new car, etc. When they purchase it, they feel great for a few weeks, but then the fun wears off. They are again aware of their problems and are not feeling happy. Material things cannot sustain a good quality of life.

When I listed the roles in my life, I included the role of "Myself". It is important to recognize that "you" are deserving of your undivided attention too. How often do you try to take time for yourself, but instead find yourself thinking about everyone and everything else? Pay attention to your dreams, goals, and feelings. Know what makes you happy. In order to be present in other aspects of your life, you must first learn how to be present to yourself.

To have a high quality of life, you must live in the moment. Do not bring other relationships and worries where they don't belong. There is a time and place for everything. Get to know every role of your life and devote the time needed to each one. How you define your roles will affect your quality of life.

© Copyright 2009 Brandy Herron all rights reserved