Got A Spoiled Child? Here's How To Cope!

FamilyParenting

  • Author Gareth Williams
  • Published January 29, 2009
  • Word count 604

Amy was just putting away the groceries for the day when her daughter, Elizabeth, walked into the kitchen demanding the latest iPhone. Amy patiently told her daughter that she had already received another popular - and equally expensive - phone a few months ago; what exactly was wrong with it? When Elizabeth said that all the "cool kids" had the iPhone, Amy felt at a loss for what to do. How exactly did her child get so spoiled to the point where what she "had to have" a few months ago now was just another worthless and outdated piece of junk?

Like it or not, Amy's not alone in attempting to cope with a spoiled child. Thanks to a culture of materialism, many children now more than ever expect "basics" like incredible gaming systems, the latest cell phones and even the nicest cars available. This turns into the parents buying what seems like an impossibly high mountain full of clothes, toys, gadgets and other items that will only be abandoned months later in favor of the newest trends to hit the mall. If this scenario sounds familiar to you, then you need to do everything in your power to "unspoil" your child before he or she reaches adulthood - after all, a spoiled adult is generally unsuccessful in both professional and personal pursuits, and will find it hard to maintain a lasting relationship.

Before unspoiling your children, you must first need to acknowledge that your own behavior is a primary cause. Many parents buy loads of stuff for their children because they feel guilty for working long hours, or they feel as though buying things is another way of showing affection and love. Not so, say most child experts. You'll need to work on your own views of love and feelings of guilt before you can expect to successfully "unlearn" spoiled behavior from your children.

Next, you'll need to set limits with your children - and stick with them! Consistency is key in any form of discipline, especially when it comes to children. So before you cave in to your child's demands, think about the behavior that you're demonstrating to your son or daughter - if you flip-flop, you'll only teach your children that if they stick with it, they can eventually get what they want from you. Sure, your children will throw temper tantrums when you suddenly refuse to get them what they want, but here's a little secret that they don't want you to know: children quickly get over disappointments! If your child ignores you or acts angry, let them do so, but have them understand that under no circumstances will you relent on your limits.

Another great way to unlearn spoiled behavior is to have your children get involved with a local charity or volunteering organization. Often, spoiled children aren't exposed to those with less means than themselves, and find it hard to realize that not everyone is as fortunate as him or her. Spend your weekends with a worthy charity cause or at a homeless shelter, and your child will soon learn that he or she is blessed to have just food on the table and a roof over his or her own head.

Remember, when it comes to unlearning all kinds of bad behavior, consistency is key. Once you've set your limits with your child, don't relent, no matter how tempted you may be - after all, relenting sends the wrong message to your child and will only make the spoiled behavior worse. Above all, don't forget to praise your child for showing improvements in his or her behavior!

Gareth Williams has been an expert in the field of parenting for well over 25 years and is the author of the highly acclaimed ebook 'Harmony at Home - A Parent's Companion'. If you're interested in receiving FREE information on modern day and successful parenting techniques then please visit http://www.instantparentsuccess.com

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