Flirting is something usually associated with womanisers, single people or new couples. When people are settled in a long-term relationship, flirting tends to take a running jump out of the nearest window. However, flirting with your partner is great for your love life.

Flirting increases self-esteem and confidence, it makes you appear playful and fun, endearing and more attractive. It reassures and reaffirms the bonds in your relationship. Having a flirt with your partner helps to make your partner feel sexy, and desirable to you, and more likely to bend to your every whim, which is great for your sex life.

We learn to flirt as children, using mild flirting to manipulate a person or a situation to get your own way. Daddy's girl looks cute to get a bag of sweets and little Johnny butters up his teacher before mentioning that a dog ate his homework. As our flirting skills grow we use compliments to make another person feel good, and during our teenage years we learn to flirt to attract a mate.

This is partly where the misconception comes from that married or attached couples don't need to flirt. Your mate isn't going anywhere, and you know that they will consent to having sex with you, so no need for all that effort.

Of course your partner is worth the effort, however once you are out of the habit of flirting, it's hard to remember how to do it...

Beginners

Arthur Arun, a New York psychologist studied what happened when people fall in-love. His found that gazing into someone's eyes had a huge impact on a couple and increased desire and attraction.

Increase your lust for one another by doing more activities that involve you looking at one another.

• Romantic candle lit dinners, this could be at home in at a cosy restaurant.

• You could learn a new language, this would involve a lot of face to face activity as you both practise conversations.

• Take more bubbly baths together. Put a sponge on the plug and a flannel on the taps so that you can sit facing one another.

• Chat in bed before you go to sleep.

• Of course the best activity of all would be to caressing and snogging on the sofa, as a new couple you would have naturally snogged and gazed into each others eyes sending lust levels through the roof, imagining ripping one another's clothes off and ravishing one another bodies.

Make sure that the time for gazing are relaxed and at times when you wont be disturbed.

Accomplished Lovers

In a relationship flattery can get you everywhere, however there is a lot more to flattery than just off the cuff compliments. There's a whole load of body language as well, 55% of attraction is through body language.

Show your interest in your partner by mirroring their movements and gestures. St in the same position, sip your drink when they sip theirs.

You could also use other non-verbal language to flirt with your partner...

Physical flirting for women...

• Running your finger along your lower lip, or holding a pen in your teeth whilst your partner is talking to you is a 'Come on' sexual gesture.

• For more subtlety, play with your hair and toss your head back when you laugh. This says - I'm very interested and that you're fun.

• Playing with a necklace says 'Look at my breasts'.

• Repeated leg crossing is interpreted at sexually available and up for it.

Physical flirting for men...

• Want to show a keen interest? Make short nods as she talks to show your attentiveness.

• Physical contact can be very flirtatious, make it light-hearted and fun. A tap on the bottom or a quick nuzzle on her neck.

• During communication we rely on facial gestures to read hidden messages. Luckily women are more receptive to reading faces them men so let your desire spread across your face and she should get the message.

Outrageously Kinky Lovers

Forget subtly flirting and try...

Sending your partner a sexy gift of undies or a sex toy to their place of work.

Ring your partner during their lunch break and explicitly tell them your deepest desires.

Interrupt their favourite television programme wearing very sexy underwear. Jeremy Clarkson or kinky PVC romp? Not a tough one is it?

Stick saucy 'post it' notes around the house.

Email or text them a sexy photo of yourself.

Did you know that sexual excitement and fear release the same chemicals in the body? Have more hair-raising dates – visit theme parks, go bungee jumping, try your hand at speedway racing, spend the night at a haunted castle.

An experiment showed that thrills and excitement makes a person more attractive. So make your saucy gesture loud and exciting and a little bit risky, and increase your partner's level of interest in you.