I’ve seen it so many times—clients who started to exercise with enthusiasm dropping out 10 to 12 weeks later. “It’s too boring,” said one woman who actually lost 15 pounds in the process. “It’s just not for me. I don’t have the motivation.” Her voice told me enough: her perception of exercise as something routine, boring, a “Have To” rather than a “Want To” in her priority of things.

How do you turn exercise into a ‘Want To”? How do you keep the initial momentum going after 10 days? 10 weeks? 10 years? 30 years? It’s the same question you ask your significant other as you walk down the aisle—How do we keep this good thing going?

The answer seems elusive. We know that repetition breeds boredom and effective exercise is repetitive to a large extent. Anything repetitious becomes monotonous over time and even the words “exciting routines” seem to be an oxymoron. Yet I know there is an answer and perhaps this answer can be better culled from those who have cultivated longevity in relationships over time. After all, exercise is like a marriage; it can wither with neglect or it can blossom with attention and time.

So I decided to approach two good friends of mine—Martin and Helen--a couple whose marriage seems made in heaven—still going strong after 35 years. They are still, 35 years later, each other’s best friend and lover. Their marriage is indeed a daunting record in this day and age.

“How,” I asked them,” have you been able to keep your relationship with each other so vital, so exciting even after all these years? You are still each other’s valentines!” And they gave me 3 tips which I have found to be just as relevant for relationships as they are for those of us who want to cultivate longevity in exercise.

1. Nurture a long-term vision of what you will become as a couple down the road.

Even in their twenties, Martin and Helen kept a long-term vision of themselves as a couple. “We would imagine ourselves at 60, retired, our house paid off and being financially secure enough to travel and do the things we want to do. That vision kept us on track all these years with savings, putting money into our RRSPs, giving up on momentary splurges that we really did not need, but would have made a dent in our savings. It’s the choice of giving up certain things now so we can have what we want later that made us grow stronger as a couple, a team.”

These are wise words indeed for keeping your finances healthy, but even wiser for long-term fitness buffs. You have to give up something now for the reward down the road. Cultivating a long-term vision of yourself (as you want to be) and making this a priority can curtail momentary lapses that assail even the best of us. While Martin and Helen had to wait 30 years for their dream to materialize, you don’t have to wait that long. I’ve found that reluctant as I am sometimes to go to the gym, I ALWAYS feel great after the workout. Simply holding that image of yourself feeling great in front of you can be a strong enough motivation for doing what seems impossible at the moment.

2. Relish the Moment.

Martin said,” While we had a long-term vision of ourselves, we never got so bogged down with it that we forgot the moment. We’re in for the long haul, so we make sure that we have fun along the way. We focus on the good things in each other, the good things we enjoy and we make our times together fun. During those years when we couldn’t afford a yearly cruise, we went out for dinner and movies 2-3 times a month and we dressed up for those occasions and made them special like we were dating for the first time.”

The question then is— How do you turn your exercise workout into a date? The key, I think, is to find something you enjoy doing and using it as an alternative on those days when the thought of getting on the treadmill seems impossible. Rather than doing nothing, go for an activity that pumps up your heart and gets you excited. For example, you can vary your cardio routines on the treadmill with a) a nice long-distance run through the park b) 1 hour jazzercise c) power-walking d) swimming or e) cycling. Or you can put on your favorite music in the basement and just free dance your heart out!

3. Don’t beat yourselves up when things don’t go well.

“We’ve had great times,” said Helen,” and we’ve had terrible times. They go with the territory. Life is never a straight road. Instead of blaming each other when things go bad, we pick up the pieces, fix what we can and just keep on going.”

How often have we fallen off the exercise wagon and thought the world ended right then and there? I remember way back in December 1991, I slipped on the ice and fractured my ankle. It required surgery and a cast and I thought my running days were over. They would have been over had I wallowed in the self-pity that overwhelmed me. But when I felt better and started walking again in the Summer of 1992, I knew it was impossible for me not to run. Just over a year later in 1993, my girlfriend and I completed the Detroit Marathon. In the overall scheme of things, momentary lapses are miniscule, almost negligible. What is significant is the number of times you can pick yourself up and get right back on track. Longevity is what counts.