I'll be Happy When ...

Self-ImprovementHappiness

  • Author Ruth Bridgewood
  • Published July 21, 2009
  • Word count 588

Many people spend their lives thinking "I'll be happy when …" (I finish school, get my

degree, get a job/promotion, get married, own a house, kids leave home, retire). They

spend their lives in anticipation of the next stage, never really enjoying the process or the

journey. Do you put off being happy until this (or that) happens? Or waiting for some

special event to lift you temporarily, only to feel flat and depressed once the event is

over?

Do you also put off spending time with your loved ones until everything has been done

and the in-tray (actual and metaphorical) is empty? In the meantime, our family or

friends may have lost interest or moved on, and it's too late to regain the time we might have

spent with them while we were busy emptying the tray. Face the fact that the in-tray will

never be empty, there's always going to be tasks to be completed. Decide to make time

now for the people that are important to you. All your work will get done in due course.

The present moment is all we have. Many of us spend our time focusing on past

difficulties or anticipating future events, and end up living in fear of what might happen.

However, regardless of what might happen tomorrow or happened yesterday or even in

the last hour, the present moment is where it's at! If we allow our thoughts to be dominated by past events or anticipation or worry about the future, we'll never be happy in the present moment, which is really all we have.

Often we will be in a certain place and wish we were somewhere else - on holidays, in a

new home in a different area, at a different job. Then we will be happy! Actually, if you

spend your time feeling frustrated, unhappy and wishing things were different, then that

state of mind will follow wherever you go. The opposite is also true - if you refuse to

spend your time being negative, angry, or frustrated, and focus on being happy in the

present moment, then happiness will follow you wherever you are. You may well find

that your positive energy attracts to you the places, people and circumstances that you

desire.

Do something creative such as painting, writing a book, music, or cooking something

new and enjoy what you are doing for its own sake, not the end result. Don't worry what

other people will think of your efforts, just immerse yourself in the activity and get lost in

the present moment. Becoming immersed in something which is not generally

considered to be a fun activity, such as vacuuming or ironing, can also put a whole new

perspective on the task. Enjoy the physical side of vacuuming or sweeping, using your

muscles and getting exercise. Enjoy the look, feel and clean smell of clothes and pillowcases

(not the sheets - I wouldn't go that far!) as they are ironed. There's an old Buddhist

saying, "carry water, chop wood", meaning that if you undertaking these tasks, then focus

on the task and become at peace with it, rather than thinking about something else or

wishing you were somewhere else.

The Buddhist art of "Non-attachment" is a useful tool to helping us live in the present. If you are attached to people, places, things, and outcomes which don't co-operate with your expectations, then you will experience fear, conflict and other negative emotions. Learning to release or

detach from people or outcomes frees our spirit.

Ruth Bridgewood is a qualified Life Coach, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist specialising in on-line personal growth courses, tools and resources. For more articles and to claim your free self-improvement e-books, visit www.inspirit-persgrowth.com

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