I'll be Happy When ...
- Author Ruth Bridgewood
- Published July 21, 2009
- Word count 588
Many people spend their lives thinking "I'll be happy when …" (I finish school, get my
degree, get a job/promotion, get married, own a house, kids leave home, retire). They
spend their lives in anticipation of the next stage, never really enjoying the process or the
journey. Do you put off being happy until this (or that) happens? Or waiting for some
special event to lift you temporarily, only to feel flat and depressed once the event is
over?
Do you also put off spending time with your loved ones until everything has been done
and the in-tray (actual and metaphorical) is empty? In the meantime, our family or
friends may have lost interest or moved on, and it's too late to regain the time we might have
spent with them while we were busy emptying the tray. Face the fact that the in-tray will
never be empty, there's always going to be tasks to be completed. Decide to make time
now for the people that are important to you. All your work will get done in due course.
The present moment is all we have. Many of us spend our time focusing on past
difficulties or anticipating future events, and end up living in fear of what might happen.
However, regardless of what might happen tomorrow or happened yesterday or even in
the last hour, the present moment is where it's at! If we allow our thoughts to be dominated by past events or anticipation or worry about the future, we'll never be happy in the present moment, which is really all we have.
Often we will be in a certain place and wish we were somewhere else - on holidays, in a
new home in a different area, at a different job. Then we will be happy! Actually, if you
spend your time feeling frustrated, unhappy and wishing things were different, then that
state of mind will follow wherever you go. The opposite is also true - if you refuse to
spend your time being negative, angry, or frustrated, and focus on being happy in the
present moment, then happiness will follow you wherever you are. You may well find
that your positive energy attracts to you the places, people and circumstances that you
desire.
Do something creative such as painting, writing a book, music, or cooking something
new and enjoy what you are doing for its own sake, not the end result. Don't worry what
other people will think of your efforts, just immerse yourself in the activity and get lost in
the present moment. Becoming immersed in something which is not generally
considered to be a fun activity, such as vacuuming or ironing, can also put a whole new
perspective on the task. Enjoy the physical side of vacuuming or sweeping, using your
muscles and getting exercise. Enjoy the look, feel and clean smell of clothes and pillowcases
(not the sheets - I wouldn't go that far!) as they are ironed. There's an old Buddhist
saying, "carry water, chop wood", meaning that if you undertaking these tasks, then focus
on the task and become at peace with it, rather than thinking about something else or
wishing you were somewhere else.
The Buddhist art of "Non-attachment" is a useful tool to helping us live in the present. If you are attached to people, places, things, and outcomes which don't co-operate with your expectations, then you will experience fear, conflict and other negative emotions. Learning to release or
detach from people or outcomes frees our spirit.
Ruth Bridgewood is a qualified Life Coach, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist specialising in on-line personal growth courses, tools and resources. For more articles and to claim your free self-improvement e-books, visit www.inspirit-persgrowth.com
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