How To Improve Your Conversation Skills

Reference & EducationWriting & Speaking

  • Author Sebastiaan Van Der Schrier
  • Published August 14, 2009
  • Word count 857

Good conversation skills are an important asset in any situation. You can improve your business, personal, social and dating life with these skills. People in any situation will respond more positively to you if you are able to

have an interesting conversation with ease.

There are some obvious things you should know about being a good conversationalist, such as being friendly and respectful to the person you are talking to. Look them in the eye as you are talking, as well as when you are listening. Being a good listener is one of the more important techniques you should master. Talking is only half of a good conversation.

Listening is more than just being silent and staring at someone who is talking. Be attentive while you listen. Nod, smile and acknowledge what they are saying with small sounds like "uhuh" or "hmmm". It lets your conversation partner know you are paying attention as they talk. Another way to show you are listening is to ask questions to further the conversation. Ask for more details on what they are saying, to show you were listening and are genuinely interested.

Ways To Tell A Story

When you are telling a story about something that has happened to you, try to be descriptive with the words you use to tell your tale. You want the person you are talking to to feel like they are experiencing your story along with you. Use words that really paint a picture for them.

If you tell a story about a day at the beach, talk about how the beach stretched out with crisp white sand, and how hot the sun was. Describe how you hopped around on the sand because you forgot to wear your flip-flops. Talk about the clear emerald sea water and how the weather was just perfect for a holiday afternoon. Share all the

details.

Keep The Conversation Flowing

The best way to keep a conversation going, is to be as curious as possible. Try to find out as much as you can about the person and the story they are telling by asking questions.

And not just any questions, but questions that will lead to more conversation. These are called "open ended questions", and can't just be answered with one word.

Instead of asking: "Do you like movies?", try a question like: "What kinds of movies do you like?"

The first example can be answered with just a "yes" or "no", which won't help the conversation any. The second version will lead to more details, and likely more questions for you to ask.

Another technique to keep the conversation going is to find something similar in your own life to share. What does the other person's story remind you of?

And lastly, you can simply change the subject so the conversation doesn't come to a standstill. With the quick use of the word "anyway", you can easily move on to something else and keep talking.

More Conversation Skills

  • Smile. Nothing will invite more conversation than a friendly smile. It will put the other person at ease and show that you are pleasant and friendly.

  • Their Name. Nothing impresses people more than having their name remembered and used in conversation. Make a serious effort to remember their name from the start so you don't have to ask again. Then use it occasionally throughout the conversation, but don't overdo it.

  • Explore Your Topics. Keep your conversations moving by talking about many different things, like sports, movies, weather, current events, food and pretty much anything else. Also, ask questions to expand on what's already been talked about. Get all the details about the other person's favorite sport before going on to another topic.

  • Relate to Them. Other people will open up more once you've done the same about yourself. Find something in your own experiences to share on whatever topic the other person is talking about. You may not have anything that is really relevant to offer, so you could always just continue asking questions until you do. People are more comfortable talking with someone who shares their ideas, even just a little bit.

  • Let Them Know. If you find something interesting in their conversation, let them know. Tell the other person that their story was interesting or thoughtful. That will encourage them to keep going and offer more to the conversation.

  • Mirror Them. Another way to make someone else more comfortable during a conversation is to take cues from their tone and body language. By "mirroring" them, they will feel more at ease because you will seem more familiar to them.

This technique can take practice, and you don't want to be too obvious that you are mimicking them. Use hand gestures if they do, sit casually if they do, and speak at the same pace as they do. Keep it subtle, though.

Don't try all these techniques at once, or you will get overwhelmed with it all. Practice one or two of them until you are comfortable using them before trying another one. In a few months, your conversation skills will be much improved.

Sebastiaan van der Schrier is the editor of http://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com the comprehensive guide to overcoming any and all social anxiety forever. More information about starting a conversation is at http://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/starting-a-conversation.html - Copyright: You may freely republish this article provided the text, author, the active links and this copyright notice remain intact.

Article source: https://articlebiz.com
This article has been viewed 918 times.

Rate article

Article comments

There are no posted comments.

Related articles