Being single again can be a massively rewarding experience. For me, an unexpected divorce at the age of forty-two led me to eventually create and manage one of the biggest face-to-face singles networks in the world, Going Places With Gareth. The network is based in Adelaide, South Australia. After five years, around five thousand people had become involved in it to some degree.

People have been literally astounded at functions I have held with as many as five hundred singles attending at a time. They are amazed at the open friendliness of our regular guests and the way that newcomers easily fit into the group. They are impressed with the variety of hugely successful events held each week and the extensive web site which I created and maintain to promote and run the network.

What those people never saw was me in the early days waiting on lonely street-corners for crowds of people who just weren't coming. Believe me, it is an arduous drive home when you arrange a singles social event and nobody attends. Without my years of training in the life insurance industry I could never had retained a sufficiently positive outlook to keep trying until success came.

My own first singles club experience was a rather 'mixed bag'. After an introductory meeting in a cafe with two committee members and two other prospective members I joined a club. Soon after, I attended a games night at the home of a lady named Katie. Around a dozen guests came over the course of the evening, most of them at least five years older than me. Within a few minutes of arriving I clumsily pulled the ring opener on a can of beer causing it to explode over Katie's nice blouse so she needed to change it. I was embarrassed but soon recovered for what was actually a very enjoyable experience.

I remember this nowadays when newcomers to my singles network attend a house-party or a dinner with just thirty guests, none of whom amount to 'talent' in their eyes and ask "Is this all that's coming?" I am disappointed in their attitude.

These people clearly aren't aware that success, particularly in meeting a new partner, is very much dependant on how you think. The right approach is to look for the very best in each function you attend and never expect too much from any particular experience.

Going on a decisive hunt for new partner rarely yields good results. Poor results lead to pessimism and that leads to continued poor results. I have noted time and time again that those people who are positive, understanding and willing to make any occasion successful with their friendly personality regardless of who else attends become much more influential members of the network. On average, they are far more successful with the opposite sex than are those who are negatively judgmental.

Some of the most enjoyable functions I can remember had only around six people in attendance. I have lost count of the number of times when just a handful of people turned up for a walk, a movie or a coffee meeting but two of them 'took a shine' to each other and became permanent partners. On plenty of other occasions one hundred people attended a singles event but none of them 'clicked'.

My first great tip to newly single people who join a singles club or network is simply to take it easy and slowly, focusing just on expanding their social circle while re-developing skills which they probably haven't used for a while. They should look for the best in each occasion and be determined to enjoy them self no matter what. This sets the stage for big things to come.