First Date Advice: How To Avoid Excess
- Author Daryl Campbell
- Published September 3, 2009
- Word count 632
It is kind of funny in one of those strange ways. You may have known this person for some time. You have always hit it off pretty well but never took that next step and did the dating thing.
Not until today. You are definitely looking forward to it but there is no denying the nervousness. It's strange because you have never been jumpy around this person before. Dating can do that.
It's worth remembering that since you are on this first date, that it is important to avoid some of the excesses that can leave a bad impression.
- Eating
Food. Glorious food. You and your date go to a spot where the meals are exceptionally prepared and the prices are to your liking. And you only had one sandwich today? Look out; the manager may have to kick you out because you are hungry with a capitol appetite.
You may like to eat but going overboard in front of this person you are dating for the first time is not a good idea. It is not that you have to eat like a sick bird but too much shows a lack of control.
You're thinking to yourself, "This food is incredible". Your date may have other thoughts like, "What a pig." If you want more food stop someplace when the date is over or just wait until you get home. While you are on the date however dial it down.
- Drinking
Having a drink has been a part of the social scene from time immemorial. You can handle your liquor with the best of them. Order five double martinis, knock them back and walk out of the place like you just drank a half a bottle of orange soda.
Your date's perception of things however may be a whole lot different. As far as they can tell you are getting hammered. They cannot help but wonder are you going have to be carried out; forget about driving. They may also question why you find it necessary to drink so heavily. The answers they come up are probably not going to turn out in your favor.
- Chatter
There is a big difference between good give and take discussion and talking just to talk. Every date is going to have a certain rhythm and flow to the conversation. Constant chatter is the one where you try to anticipate then fill up any potential moments of silence.
Now it could be nerves that cause someone to go on and on at length or the fact that many years ago they realized how great their voice sounded and fell in love with it. Either way it is best to take it down a couple of notches on the first date; or for that matter any other time the two of you may spend together.
- Quiet
The other end of the spectrum. The discussion has come to a halt or it never really got started. No one has anything to say and it has become almost a war of attrition to determine who is going to break the silence first. A lull in the conversation as you both enjoy the atmosphere and each other is one thing, excess silence is another. All that does it make the environment more tense and raise the stress level.
You are nervous because you want things to go right. So does your date. That is good. Nobody goes out hoping the date turns into a disaster that winds up on some reality TV show.
Will something unexpected come up? Probably. You can plan a first date down to the most minor detail and circumstances have a way of throwing a monkey wrench into the proceedings. It happens. Just do you best not to help it along by avoiding the excess.
Article written by Daryl Campbell. You never thought of it as a big deal. But the person you are dating for the first time may not feel that way. What is it? Find out at The Relationship Tip.
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