Many years ago, a roommate of mine got married in Oahu. Contrary to what one might guess, Cindy is not a wild romantic. She’s actually rather practical. She reasoned that spending her wedding budget on one of the Oahu wedding packages she found was the only way she could honeymoon in her dream location.

Cindy’s dream rubbed off on her friends and family. Many of us stretched our vacation dollars and splurged a bit more than we might have in order to share in her special day. The site was perfect for her. Never a girly girl, Cindy looked sublime, but still very much herself, in a simple white gown and bare feet, with palm trees swaying as her backdrop. The wedding details reflected the location, with floral leis rather than bouquets, and a traditional luau as the reception dinner. In and around the wedding activities, we guests got to soak up the sun, splash in the sea, or arrange our own tours and activities like snorkeling or hiking.

When I got married a couple of years later, I did not follow Cindy’s lead and plan my own Hawaiian wedding. My mother-in-law won’t get on an airplane, so she wouldn’t have been able to attend. (Of course, some brides might consider that a very good argument for Oahu weddings!) We had a wonderful time dancing and celebrating in a local banquet hall, but it felt sort of . . . ordinary. We have lovely trees in the background of our wedding photos, but they’re not palm trees, and there’s not a speck of white sand in any of the shots!

Do I feel cheated for not having a celebration like my roommate? No. But am I glad I went to her Aloha State wedding? You bet! Many of us there vowed we would return. Cindy planned to go back for her tenth wedding anniversary. She actually spent that anniversary in the hospital, enjoying her newborn daughter. For most of us, raising families took precedence over exotic vacations.

Thanks to Cindy, though, we were motivated to make that trip. And having the memories of being in Oahu once, we still intend to return, even if life has postponed that return somewhat.