Lack of foreplay is one of the biggest turn-offs in the world of SEX.

Foreplay is often understood as the set of activities done before actual intercourse. The typical menu includes kissing, caressing, getting & giving head, touching, groping, hugging, fingering etc. Men feel like dogs if they don't engage in it, and they've heard or read somewhere that plenty of it makes them a great lay ­ so they sign up. Foreplay makes gentlemen out of horny boys.

Doesn't matter if you're a newbie or an expert, foreplay works like a charm ­ definitely gets Eve going.

Why? You wonder why? BECAUSE IT LARGELY EMBODIES WHAT WOMEN, THE XX GENDER, ARE ALL ABOUT.

They want it far, far more than any other part of the program, yes, even penetration. Not because they need extra ticks to heat up, but because it is in foreplay that their physical and emotional needs are met.

She wants to feel needed, wanted and appreciated. Kissing, caressing and gazing into her eyes accomplish exactly that. It makes her gasp, Wow, he thinks more of me than just a vagina on heels!

It's the most personal part of the act, and probably the only time her presence is being fully recognized. (Because when the pumping begins, men often fly off to their own worlds and forget about their partners.)

But F geniusly bridges the emotional and the physical. To her, it captures the essence of the phrase: Being with a man. And something very interesting happens during foreplay. Eve not only senses the touch, the physical connection, but the emotional underpinnings as well.

For example, when you kiss her, she doesn't just feel the lips touching, she relishes the emotional bond. (This connection is what women fuss about.)

In addition to this, foreplay is especially designed for the senses. The sensual bombardment is so remarkable, and the potential for pleasure so high, that it rivals the ecstasy of an orgasm.

Being multi-sensory, significantly fascinated by process and details, women relish every drop of the stuff going on. The smell of candles, the sound of lip-locks, the caress of your fingers, the slow and steady build-up of sexual heat ­ women are sucker for these.

Not that sensual bliss is solely found in foreplay, but tastefully done, Foreplay can be like one long orgasm.

Really! One... long... lasting. . .climax! The Grossly Underplayed Card

In a committed relationship, there are certain physical accesses and privileges that only YOU, her partner, can avail of.

Foreplay is one.

No one else is licensed to connect with her in the manner that you are encouraged to. Not even her long time girlfriend can do that to her body, as society limits them to hugs & kisses. Only you are tolerated to caress her breasts, lick her body or slip your fingers...without a lawsuit. Nobody else has that PRIVILEGE of ravishing and indulging her.

Only you. Hands, tongue, any part of you, can mesh with hers... without apologies... without restraint.

Unfortunately, this is an underused card. Men take foreplay for granted, not understanding their total franchise of her body, mistaking kisses and caresses as means to an end.

The irony, is that out of the many uncontrollable emotional forces operating inside your woman's body, one of the most potent is the yearning to be kissed & touched. She's dying to be kissed and craving to be touched. She wants the warmth of another person. In a committed relationship, the source of all that (and more), is YOU. The only one who can fill such an unimaginable need.

Think about that for a moment.

Why Is It Easier To Suck At Foreplay?

As I've said, foreplay works, it doesn't matter whether you're a newbie or expert, you can get a woman going. But when a well-intentioned guy fumbles, it's not necessarily because he's a jerk or that he fundamentally sucks. He's probably still getting the hang of it.

Guys don't have socially acceptable avenues to practice foreplay... except in the act itself. Both practice and the real thing happen at the same time and I if you don't make-out or get laid, you don't get practice.

Compare that to Eve's world where they've been hugging and kissing since they were kids, where touching marks the affairs of women.

Moreover, foreplay involves a lot of being in the moment. Which, again, the goal-oriented fellows don't do. We don't ruminate, we're always on the move, always making things happen, changing the world. The slow and steady build up that women like goes against every force of habit. We don't even know what the heck being in the moment really means.

When guys operate as if sex involves paper work or deadlines, they may do their darn best, but they will still suck if they don't stop acting as if they're at the office.

So there you have it. A in-depth look at one of the biggest mistakes men make when making love with women.

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of Virtuoso Lover teaching men how to become exceptional lovers