10 clues that you are addicted to facebook
- Author Isaac Lungu
- Published December 3, 2009
- Word count 596
Facebook has become a part of modern life. People spend large amounts of time posting things, reading profiles, and joining groups. To what extent can we call the compulsion an addiction? Here are a few signs that suggest that you might be a grade 1, professional facebook addict.
-
You reply to your friends comments after ± 0.3 seconds. You prey on their every comment like a tiger stalks its prey. Before they can finish responding, you ambush them with a un-respondable, "hahah that's awesome!!". Sometimes you are so fast your response is quicker than the post and Facebook momentarily crashes.
-
You are a member of more than 3000 useless Facebook groups including: "Save the African Children", "Bring Peace to Asia", "Kanye West is a Dbag" and "I love my cat".
-
You tell people you have a new Job. They all swarm around you to congratulate you. Very shortly thereafter they disappear when they find out the "Job" is to build a drug cartel in Havana, Cuba in Mafia Wars. You proceed to email your boss for advice and he recommends you pack your belongings and relieve yourself of your employment.
-
You have miniaturized your stalking habit by enabling Facebook mobile access. Now you have facebook at your finger tips at all times. At the bar, at work, even at your best friend's funeral. Amidst the mourning, you quickly sneak in a status update that reads "R.I.P Jack! Looking for a new BFF!"
-
You used to be the picture of athleticism with your sexy six pack, long sleek legs and trapezius muscles. As a result of sitting on Facebook and chomping nachos all day, you look like Oprah in one of her "off periods" or Kirsty Alley (in general).
-
Work has become a nice break from Facebook. Now you’re trying to rush your memo, get that presentation wrapped up or breeze through your open heart surgery just so you can poke Jenn and send her a martini on Facebook.
-
You actually go to a place mentioned on someone's status, like a party named "LA PASION" in Cambridge, MA, in hopes of seeing them in real life. Not only is that creepy, but I am pretty sure you can get arrested for that. In fact the next piece of mail you will get is a restraining order.
-
Your workplace prevents you from using Facebook. You start to develop symptoms not so different from the withdrawal symptoms of a crack addict. Your symptoms include: agitation, depression, fatigue, anxiety, nausea or vomiting and angry outbursts. All this is accompanied by a cold sweat. You commit yourself to rehab to get out of work but not before you google all the rehab facilities with Facebook access.
-
You decide to rob a house. You do everything correctly and make your escape seamlessly. Within an hour you are apprehended because during the robbery you couldn't resist sneaking a peak at Jill's status message. You forget to log off and basically leave the cops: your name, address, current city, relationship status, hobbies, favorite quote etc. To top it all, your status reads "Just robbed a house...having a beer at the O'tools bar on 51st and Broadway." That actually happened!!
-
To really drive the point home, I posted a link to this article on Facebook. You clicked the link within 0.3 seconds. Replied with an unrespondable "hahah that's awesome", poked me, invited me to a random, useless group, gave me a job to do in mafia wars, and now you are reading this article. YOU STALKER GET A LIFE!! HAHA.
Brought to you by Stuff-about.com
Isaac Lungu (Africanlegend) is the proud creator of Stuff-about.com. Stuff-about.com is filled with hilariously funny and satirical articles for those of you pretending to be busy and important. Read our latest blog posts at www.stuff-about.com.
Article source: https://articlebiz.comRate article
Article comments
There are no posted comments.
Related articles
- CholoMMA
- Time: Is it an illusion?
- The Sweetest Gift: Why You Should Continue Giving Hickeys Even After Growing Up
- Online editor for photo retouching Pixelmaniya is one of many, but not the same as all
- 9 Dentistry Jokes That Are Sure to Make You Smile
- Hilarious Jokes That Can Make Your Dental Visits More Fun
- Gangs of the Lake.
- Call Me Chuck.
- Mirror, Mirror, On the wall...
- A Bobcat
- Photographs that displays emotions not just poses!
- Funny Short Stories
- Funny Christmas Stories to Share with Your Loved Ones
- Chapter 11-- Summer of '70
- Chapter 4 --1st grade
- Top Nerd Girlfriend Freakouts
- Funniest Show Touches the Heart of Everyone
- UK Property: Have you ever thought about down-sizing?
- Easy Ways To Get Whiplash Claim And Compensation
- Winnie the Pooh Quotes and Nothing Else
- One liners funny like never before
- Humor Column: The Only Blues You Should Be Playing is B.B. King
- Confessions of a cross-stitcher
- Hanging with a clock collector
- He's a Mustache Machine!
- Funny Sayings and Messages
- Secrets Behind a Successful Comedy Podcast
- Stand up comedian funny podcasts are dominating Internet radio
- Free comedy – The Smartest Way to Locate the Funniest Video Clips Online
- Los Angeles Stand Up Comedians on the Move