Goals – we have a love-hate relationship with goals. We love

them because they are such a great idea and are a superb way to

motivate us to achieve and then to evaluate our progress; but we

hate them, because for much of the time, they go unattained and

simply frustrate us. This isn’t what goals should do!

Having been a Life Coach for many years now I would like to

suggest some straightforward and practical techniques on how

you can set goals you can achieve! After all, what good is a

goal if it isn’t something you can achieve?

• Life Coaching tip no 1 - You have to want it!

Firstly - do not bother to set goals for things you don’t

really want. For example: if your partner says they want you to

quit smoking or lose weight but you do not want to, why even

bother setting this as a goal. If your goal(s) are not

something you personally want to accomplish, and they are not

relevant to you, you are unlikely to succeed – because deep

down you don’t really want to.

State your goals in a positive way – a goal should always be

something you want to have, or change. Not things you or

someone else think you should.

Always ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being

totally committed and 1 being zero commitment. How committed

are you to reaching your goal? If it is less than 8, you might

want to reconsider the goal.

• Life Coaching tip no 2 - Focus

Start small. Pick two or three areas that you want to work on.

Too many people say to themselves, “I want to do this, and

this, and this, and this……” and they end up achieving nothing!

Most of what you do throughout your day can be done without a

lot of mental effort, but change isn’t one of them. So try to

keep your focus down to a couple of things. This way you can

get success in your identified areas. Here are some aspects of

your life you might like to think about: Physical,

Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial, and

Relationships. Now, which is the first thing on your list? The

others can follow later, but for now, you should focus on two

or three, no more.

• Life Coaching tip no 3 - Goals - the long and the short

So you want to lose 50 pounds? Good. Long-term you will. But

for now, think short-term. Don’t think about losing 50 pounds

by February. Think about losing 10 pounds by October 1st.

This does two things. First, it makes it pressing and urgent.

Instead of saying, “I still have 6 months to lose the 50

pounds” (6 months quickly disappears into 2 months, into one

month – with the 50 pounds still securely in place!) your first

goal is only a few weeks away, so you have to get started. This

is far more successful in terms of reaching your goal.

Secondly, as you reach these smaller goals (your

mini-milestones!), you achieve a success, which gives you

regular motivation and encouragement to keep going.

• Life Coaching tip no 4 - Make it manageable

Instead of saying, "I am going to quit my 20 smoking a day

habit straight off" change this to: "I am going to smoke no

more than 15 a day for a week, then 10 the next week and so

on." Give yourself small victories a little at a time. It is

far easier to accomplish many smaller goals that make up a

large goal – rather than trying for the large goal straight

off!

• Life Coaching tip no 5 - Reward yourself along the way

When you lose the 10 pounds by October 1st, go and order

yourself large mocha with cream from Costa’s (just the one

though!), then get back to your goal for November 1st. This

puts a little fun back into the process of self-control and

self-discipline. You will look forward to and enjoy the reward

and when the going gets tough, you will say things like, “two

weeks to go, and only two more pounds to lose” etc – I can do

it, then I can enjoy my mocha guilt free!

• Life Coaching tip no 6 - Be specific with your timeline

Don't just say, "I am going to lose 10 pounds." Say, "I am

going to lose 10 pounds by December 1st." This way, when you

start being tempted into Thornton’s Chocolates in the middle of

November - under the guise of buying early Christmas presents

for other people, you can say, "No way, only 5 more pounds to

go in three weeks and I am not going to blow it now."

• Life Coaching tip no 7 - Post it where you can see it

Keep your goal in the front of your mind at all times. Instead

of allowing yourself to ‘forget’ that you are trying to lose

weight by ordering a big slice of cheesecake, your visual

reminder will help you to choose something a little on the

lighter side but at the same time keeping on track – having

your cake and eating it! This will help you beat your desire

and stay focused.

Post your goal anywhere you will see it regularly, like maybe

the fridge or a mirror, on your wardrobe door – you know where

is best, you must be able to see it regularly throughout the

day.

• Life Coaching tip no 8 - Encourage, respect, and

accountability

Explain to a friend or family member what your goal is,

including the timeframe, so they can help you with it.

This person should regularly ask you, how you are doing etc?

They should hold you accountable, but at the same time keep you

motivated and encouraged. Obviously they must be the encouraging

type! (If not, ask someone else who is) If you are blowing it,

they can tell you so, but at the same time gee you up and say

things like “Well, that's okay, it’s done now, don’t sweat it,

just get back to it tomorrow." If you are doing well, they can

say, "excellent, well done etc” and make you feel great.

• Life Coaching tip no 9 - Write (and then reap) the benefits

If you are trying to lose weight your benefits might look

something like this: Feel better, better self-esteem, longer

life, clothes are more comfortable, a bigger choice of clothes

shops to shop it, your husband says you look 25 again and so

on. For quitting smoking, it may look like this: Fresher

breath, no more brown fingers, less wrinkles on my face, no

more red eyes, no more smelly clothes, longer life, and the

wife won’t make me spend two hours a day on the back porch in

the pouring rain anymore! By making a list you will be able to

you see what you will benefit from accomplishing your goal.

Again it is a good idea once you have thought of these benefits

to write them down with your goal (On the fridge, mirror etc) so

that when you review your goal everyday, you’ll also see the

benefits to achieving it.

• Life Coaching tip no 10 - You have succeeded – reward

yourself!

This can be anything – large or small. If you dropped the fifty

pounds, really treat yourself, plan to go out and buy yourself

that size 12 dress you have always longed for – and then wear

it with pride.

Make a deal with a partner or friend that if you reach your

goal they will take you out for a meal or and spoil you.

Whatever it is you plan, make it personal, enjoyable and

desirable to you, so you will look forward to it.

Do not miss this part out – it is one of the most important

bits. It will help to keep you motivated when you’re struggling

and give you something enjoyable to aim for.

Make sure you reward yourself for all your hard work!

Remember folks – goals aren’t just for footballers! They are

for us real people too!