It goes without saying that you want a good fertility doctor when you seek medical help to address your fertility concerns.  But are you getting the most out of your doctor/patient relationship by being a good patient?

A good way to look at your behavior is in terms of what you probably call virtues.  They are the attitudes and actions that earn you the esteem of and foster better relations with other people.  Here are a few virtues and how they apply to your relationship with your physician:

• Realism.  No two patients are alike.  Your response to a treatment might not be the same as someone else’s.  So it’s wise to keep your expectations realistic.  It’s best to stay positive without going overboard.

• Independence.  This virtue is closely related to realism when it comes to fertility treatments.  Try to avoid tying your expectations to someone else’s success — or failure.  Everybody is different.

• Honesty.  Psychologists say, "We can’t treat what we don’t know, and we can’t know what you don’t tell us."  The same is true for fertility doctors.  They need all the relevant information to match their treatment recommendations to your individual situation.  Tell the truth, even if it makes you turn a little red.

• Promptness.  Getting to your appointments on time is nice, but that’s not the point here.  Call your doctor right away if you have questions or if you’ve done something you think you shouldn’t have, like take the wrong pill or the wrong number of pills.  Everybody screws up once in a while, but some mistakes can have consequences for your treatment.

• Respect.  Your partner is part of your treatment.  He can offer support and reassurance.  Respect his feelings and his need to help you.  Keep him informed and bring him along when you have an appointment.

• Modesty.  No, it has nothing to do with those open-in-the-back gowns they might make you wear.  It has to do with stress.  When you’re feeling it, tell your doctor.  Stress is very common during fertility treatments.  They’re tough.  Talking about how you feel doesn’t mean you aren’t tough, too.

At the Reproductive Resource Center of Greater Kansas City, the fertility specialists value their relationship with their patients.  They understand that concerns about infertility can be difficult to deal with, and they do all they can to make the process of fertility treatment as comfortable as possible.  But they depend on the cooperation of their patients to deliver the best care possible.

Whether you choose the Reproductive Resource Center or another fertility clinic, remember that you are, in the end, the person who has the greatest effect on the outcome of your treatment.  So practice the six virtues of a good patient.  They will help reduce the stress and increase your chances of success.