As a mature single man, I've recently noticed not only the decreasing number of women I meet, but the waning quality of the sex I am having as well. And as with anything in life I've found myself justifying the reasons why. So I decided to write an essay to explore some of the research I found on the subject. Hopefully, we will find a ground floor to climb to the next level.

First of all let's establish that we are still very much attracted to beautiful women of all races, creeds, colors and adult ages. In the 21st century when we approach beautiful women the measuring stick for a great conversation is quite a bit longer than it was just ten short years ago. For instance, the chances of a guy starting a great conversation with a woman he didn't know ten years ago were much greater than they are in 2010. Even though women of a decade ago were cautious of speaking with a guy with zero mutual friends or connections, the right conversation could still get your foot in the door. In present day, doors seem to slam shut before a guy can knock sometimes. So an increase in social activities to maintain a healthy number of potential mutual friends would seem to be a good way to knock on the door to a great conversation, maybe more.

Now, when we've had good dialogue, we've put in some good times and sex is on the agenda, we all want to have the confidence that "I'm about to put it down and she's going to be blown away"! And then the deed happens and it's less than spectacular for her. Well, a man protecting his ego will say "it's the first time it will get better" or some other apologetic sidestep. Inside a man knows this has happened several, if not many, times before. And perhaps our lady friend is intuitive and she knows it as well. So she strokes our ego to bridge the gap between her disappointment, our disappointment and what the hell do I say now. If we are smart as men we accept her encouragement and give her some other type of positive attention until we can move on from our lackluster performance.

So let's say we've moved on from the above female interest. We are thinking of attracting another lady and subsequently having another sexual conquest. Does the performance of past sexual encounters affect our confidence at the start of a conversation or does it only affect us as sex comes into the picture? In my opinion, I would say that the affects of poor sexual performance accumulate over time before they stop a guy in his tracks. I personally know an apparently healthy man who asks the question "why do I need a woman?" Of course he wouldn't dare say that in the presence of company, but neither does he follow thru on his pursuit of women.

On the other hand, perhaps sex is proficient enough for a guy that it is healthy for his confidence and ego. When he approaches a woman he is neither moved nor distracted by the shrug of her shoulders. As she turns to get away, correctly reading her signals, he promptly gives chase. She can do or say whatever she wants to get away from him, but a self-assured man is not easily swayed. I understand sir that no means no, but a smart woman who wants a man will say no by her actions and maybe by her eyes. When she really means no she will say it from her lips. Only then should a man release her from his snare. Don't get me wrong, we are hunting here, right?

Once a man has a woman who consents to ecstasy, his confidence should be just as strong in bed as it was during his pursuit. Just like when he overcame her objections to converse, he should be overcoming her objections to blissful sex. And when it's all over, there is no need for this man to buy expensive gifts and jewelry, for he has given her a gift that her imagination couldn't fathom. Ecstasy! The end result is she will give him anything he desires!

However, our objective here is not to pillage but to have the kind of confidence and ego that suits a man of taste and maturity. Our objective is to be the man that our woman adores and worships. I submit to you that unless we have the kind of performance in bed that warrants adoration and exaltation then we shall continue to get the same old struggle to please our women outside the bedroom. It's kind of funny how our performance in the end determines the quality of our initiating the start. But it is what it is.