When you first become a parent life definitely changes and you might have a little anxiety and not know what you’re doing, but the new baby smell instantly puts you at ease and the cuddling moments with your baby make you feel so warm and fuzzy inside, causing your anxiety to melt away. Then as your baby grows you see him smile for the first time and that lights you up inside and when he says "Mommy" you hold a celebration dinner with family and friends to show off your baby’s new talent! Oh, motherhood is such a miracle! You think. Then your baby takes his first steps and you cheer him on and are so proud, until you realize that now he’s free to roam wherever he wants and you have to follow him around like a shadow.

Days and nights go by as you follow your adventurous child around your home, making sure he doesn’t eat the plants and doesn’t drink toilet water. Being your little angel’s shadow is harder than you think. Suddenly he beings to talk more and more and learns the word "No!" Now that anxiety sets in again and motherhood doesn’t seem like the miracle it did when you were cuddling your warm, non-talking, non-walking little infant a few years ago.

Then toddlerhood sets in and your child has his second birthday and you tell him he can’t have a 3rd piece of cake and he falls to the floor, screaming, shouting "No! No!" as all the guests stare in shock. You stand there baffled with no clue what to do, so you try reasoning, which NEVER works with a two year old, then you try bribing him with the promise of cake later, but his tears and cries just get louder…you’re at your wits’ end! Welcome to the Terrible Twos!

Don’t fret if your toddler is already saying "No!" on a daily basis and throwing tantrums whenever he doesn’t get his way. There are some simple things you can do to make the terrible twos not quite as terrible and luckily it’s all about changing your behavior first and your child’s behavior will change as well. Below is a list of things to expect during this challenging time in your two year olds’ life and ways you can make these challenges easier.

1.Your toddler will become obsessed with the word "No!"

Combating your toddler’s constant use of the "No!" word can be easier than you think. He’ll enjoy using this word often because he’s expressing his free will to choose and exploring his right for independence. Now you and I know that a two year old really isn’t "independent", but they don’t get it, so it’s up to the parent to elude the youngster into thinking he’s making his own choices, when we’re really still in control. Here’s how you do it. Give your toddler two choices at all times.

Example: If you’re fixing lunch, ask your toddler if he’d like a carrot or a celery stick. If you’re going out, ask your toddler if he’d like to wear his sweat shirt or his jacket. If you’re lying out your child’s clothes ask him if he wants to wear the red shirt or the blue one. Have him choose between a bubble bath and a shower.

The easy way for you to remember to give choices is to create a daily schedule for your toddler. At breakfast give choices between eggs or toast, at nap time ask him which teddy bear he wants to sleep with, at lunch let him pick ham or turkey in afternoon let him choose if he wants to play with a puzzle or blocks and on and on. A schedule helps you plan out the choices that you’ll offer your toddler each day. This will definitely ease his use of the word "No!" by making him feel as if he’s getting to choose and it will make parenting easier for you as well.

2.Your Toddler will want more freedom and independence.

This is when parents tend to start using the word "No" too often. Make life easier by setting up a safe home environment, so your toddler does feel freer to move about the house without you lurking close behind. Get safety gates to block rooms where you don’t want your toddler to go. Set-up video monitors so you can watch your child at play while you tend to things in the other room. Get child size furniture so your toddler feels as if he has a space that’s just for him. Get a toy box that your child is free to explore as often as he wants. Transition your toddler to a toddler bed, but make sure to baby proof his bedroom and place a safety gate across the door, so when he wakes up before you do he’s not roaming the house getting into trouble. Watch your child and see what type of independence he’s craving and set-up your home to match his needs.

3.Your Toddler will have mood swings and most likely throw temper tantrums!

A two year old can talk, but still doesn’t have the ability to express his emotions through words, so most toddlers choose to express their emotions through tears, whining and wild tantrums now and again. Unfortunately, you really don’t have any control over your child’s emotions, so it’s best to use preventative measures to stop your child’s emotions from getting out of control and turning into an all out screaming and head banging fit on the floor.

If you notice your child is getting upset make sure to touch his shoulder or give him a hug so he knows you care. Touch is a very powerful thing and can quickly calm an upset child. Whisper how he’s feeling softly in his ear…"Johnny, I know you’re feeling angry cause mommy won’t let you have another cookie" This way he knows you understand his anger. If he still keeps crying and making demands, walk him by hand to his room and tell him to stay there till he can calm himself down. When the tantrum is over, talk to your child about what he was feeling and explain what you were feeling as well. Tell him better ways that he can express his anger and describe how to use words instead of whines and tears to get his point across. Consider roll playing with your child and showing him better ways to express anger and sadness, using words not whines.

Final Thoughts

Just remember, the terrible twos don’t last forever and if you are prepared to give your child choices, safe freedom zones, hugs and compassion then you and your child will get through those challenging times with ease, resulting in a closer and more loving relationship to last a life-time.