Moving away
- Author Oksana Boichenko
- Published April 27, 2010
- Word count 956
For most men coming to international dating sites is a big step to take. However, for women from the CIS willing to try this approach to find Mr. Right it is also not an easy choice. By deciding to sign up on a dating site most of them not only open up their hearts for a new happiness (or sometimes disappointment), but also, in most cases, resolve to move away from their country and start their life anew.
Of course, the trade offs in such a decision (even to follow a TRUE LOVE) can often become challenges. Women will be in a completely new country, often with little language knowledge, and far away from their friends and family. Such a transition can be quite a test for a growing relationship, but we are here to give you a few practical advices and lessen your doubts in handling these seeming problems.
Why leave?
This must be the most frequently asked question by men who consider international dating. Our article "Ukraine marriage agency - Why Russian girls are looking for husband abroad" can give you a pretty good idea about why so many women got interested in international dating to begin with - it was an easy access to serious men looking for relationships, in contrast to men within the CIS countries (who often take women for granted, don't make family a priority, and do little to cherish relationships). This still has not changed: in a heart-to-heart conversation you can easily hear many women in Ukraine complain that there are too few good men left, or that all the good ones are taken.
In years after the coming of independence, many women (in particular of younger generation) have learned to appreciate themselves and realize their potential. While Ukrainian and Russian women are not nearly at the level of feminism of Europe and US, they are learning to be independent and rely on themselves - also as a consequence of not being able to rely on men at home. As a result, they see no boundaries and are willing to take chances on relationships even if they are across the globe.
Of course, looking for a brighter future for themselves and their children can not be omitted. With the fall of the iron wall, exposure to the western world has turned the latter into paradise for most people from the CIS. By now the media and word-of-mouth stories have dissolved that conception some, but still, many women perceive the US and Europe as far more convenient and secure in terms of social foundations, employment, standard of life, etc.
Is language knowledge really a must?
No doubt, solid language knowledge is a huge plus when moving to a foreign country. It can help ease the transition of getting used to the new place, make a woman feel more comfortable at a new location. However, even without a perfect 10 in a foreign language it is possible to adapt to a new country.
Our agency can share numerous stories of women who have traveled abroad with very few words in their vocabulary, yet within a few months they were fluent enough to be able to communicate and understand native speakers. Immersion in the foreign language environment puts the learning on an entirely new level - there are no translators to rely on, many things can be explained (on paper or by pointing) for easier understanding, and there is simply no other choice! Hearing television, music and other native speakers in a new language will help your lady adapt and learn the language faster. Additional language learning activities, such as English as a Foreign Language classes and various cross-cultural activities, can help build your sweetheart's confidence and gain necessary practice of a new tongue.
Of course, any adaptation period (with or without an excellent language knowledge) would require from you, as a spouse or fianc?, patience and understanding. It is ok to want to be able to speak freely with your beloved NOW, but you should not show your frustration with the time it will take. Support her by learning a few of the words from her native tongue - this will make your communication fun and give her a chance to relax - she won't be the only one learning something new and making mistakes.
Being away from family is tough - but does it have to be?
Russian women are very family oriented. They grow up being close to their mothers and sisters, girlfriends, and being away from home can be a difficult change. In the early times of international dating, women leaving the country couldn't really be certain of when they would be able to travel back home or communicate with their loved ones due to high airfares, expensive phone calls, and long time for snail mail delivery.
Now, living far away doesn't have to be as drastic and gloomy for any woman. Aside from travel fairs that have become more accessible and affordable in the recent years, there is a number of options available for women to keep in touch with their families: email, phone calls (some through free software), chat over the internet, etc. This won't substitute a mother's touch, or an afternoon tea with girlfriends, but it will help make communication with home easier, faster, and make your lady feel like she is not out of touch with her family and friends.
All that said, no matter the challenge before you, sincere feelings and desire to make your relationship work will help you and your Russian lady battle any difficulties of adjusting to a new country and life together. And our agency is always standing by to help and support our clients, it is personal for us!
Oksana Boichenko
OksanaLove, Inc.
The matchmaker with 12 years of experience in the online dating business. You can find your second half - just visit our dating site and meet your Russian woman among the thousands of beautiful Russian brides.
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