Do you find that you are constantly missing goals you have set for yourself even when you know perfectly well that you could have achieved them?

Well you are not alone. There are three main reasons that you may be failing to achieve your goals:

1. You did not really want to achieve the goals in the first place

2. You wanted to achieve the goals but you did not have the skills to achieve them.

3. You wanted to achieve the goals, you had the skills, but something totally outside of your control happened to stop you from achieving them.

Let’s go through these reasons one by one.

1. You did not really want to achieve the goals in the first place:

People often set goals for themselves that they do not really want to achieve. They might set a goal to lose 20 lbs within 6 months but do not really want to change their behavior in order to be able to achieve the goal. This is quite simple to understand and resolve. When you decide to set yourself a goal think about what you have to do in order to achieve that particular goal. If at the time you find it more painful to take all the necessary actions to achieve that goal than your perceived enjoyment in or benefit from achieving that goal, then the likely outcome is that you won’t really go for it. And in life, not really going for something generally means not achieving it at all.

2. You wanted to achieve the goals but you did not have the skills to achieve them:

Hey, it is Ok to have great goals for yourself. It is often said that once you really decide to do something the universe will make ways for you to achieve it. Or that once you are ready for something the teacher will appear. Well, both statements are true to an extent. The universe will help you and open doors for you when you are ready. The teacher might even appear when you are “ready”. But you have to have learnt how to walk so that you can go through those doors and get to the other side. You also have to be willing to do the homework that the teacher sets you. So, once you decide to achieve a certain goal, help yourself by learning everything you can about how to achieve that goal. Having at least some of the required skills will multiply your chances of achieving your worthwhile goals.

3. Something totally outside of your control happened to stop you from achieving them:

This is what most people claim to be the reason they do not achieve their goals. This is called making excuses for your failures. Don’t feel ashamed if you do this. We all do this to an extent. We make excuses for not really making the effort to achieve what we have said we would. And since we do not want to admit that we are lying to ourselves we find external events to blame for our lack of effort. Yes, this is very common and quite normal. It is so common in fact that we don’t even feel bad anymore about lying to ourselves that we are lying to ourselves. You have to start taking responsibility for your actions or lack of actions. Once you start to take responsibility and stop blaming everything and everyone else, you begin to gain RESPONSE ABILITY. Failure to fully understand this powerful concept may stop you from fully realizing your full potential.

So what is the bottom line?

The bottom line is that if you are constantly missing your goals then we must conclude that your conscious and subconscious are not aligned. When you state a goal to yourself, at a superficial level you probably believe everything you are saying. However, at a deeper level, the level we call your subconscious, things are a little bit more complex. Your subconscious looks at your history, your experiences (both real and imagined), and your beliefs. It then tries to compare this with the goal you have just set for yourself and projects the outcomes into the future.

If your subconscious feels that your goal is not realistic and that going for it might cause you too much pain, it will arrange for obstacles to stop you. If your subconscious feels that, in its’ estimation, your latest goal is possible, it might assist you in achieving it. Why do I just say that it might assist you rather than it would assist you? Because your subconscious also looks at your record in following through with your decisions, especially decisions you make that require you to go outside your comfort zone without all the skills and everything else in place. If your record in taking the required actions despite your fears is good, then your subconscious will assist you in continuing to go outside your areas of comfort. In other words, your subconscious will assist you in going after goals that you have not already achieved before because you have developed a habit of going after goals that you have not already achieved before.

It is an amazing thing. On the one hand, your subconscious will determine what you can achieve in the future by looking at what you have achieved in the past. So we might say that your past determines your future to a large extent. On the other hand, your subconscious looks at your ability and willingness to tackle what you have not achieved before. It looks at how you have handled failure in the past. If your subconscious determines that you can handle failure, that you have decided not to be devastated by the results of going after something bigger than your past, then your subconscious will willingly assist you in stretching yourself. Your goal becomes an adventure for both your conscious and your subconscious.

Your conscious might make the initial decision. But it is your subconscious that determines what is possible. So the way to change your ability to achieve your goals is to actively bring your conscious and subconscious together. Make sure they agree and are aligned together. If not then either abandon the goal and find something else more agreeable, or start to train your subconscious to believe that you will go for your goal with intensity and that you are man or woman enough to accept the results no matter what. You can only achieve this by taking action to achieve your goals even when you are afraid. Don’t worry; we are all afraid, but taking action becomes easier with time and practice.

And Finally:

Your subconscious loves you and is an integral part of the whole you. However, it is almost like an independent best friend or a loving parent. It loves and cares for you so much that it will do whatever it can to protect you from pain in the best way it knows. This could be either by stopping you from achieving your goals or by helping you achieve your goals. You have the power to influence which decision your subconscious makes. Align your conscious and subconscious and life will become much easier, more successful and more fun.