When you go out on a date, it is important that you use that date as an opportunity to observe and see if the person is someone you would like to see again and if they carry the qualities you are looking for in a life partner. You can do this through asking questions and talking about your life.

It is important that relationships are open and honest in the early stages so that both parties can see the other person for who they really are. Dating is a risky business as there is always the potential that you could be hurt when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up to another person. I believe however, that the benefit of being open, honest and vulnerable far outweighs the risks in the long term.

This report contains some tips to get you started on your dating journey and some questions that you can ask along the way.

Tip #1- RELAX and lighten up! Finding your life partner or soulmate and settling down into marriage is serious business but you’re not there yet. Take a deep breath and enjoy the discover process- once it’s over you can’t go back!

Tip #2- HAVE FUN. For those of you who are outgoing and social this won’t be a problem. For those of you who are more like me, a bit reserved, sceptical, and have the tendency to take things a bit too seriously remember to have fun. If you do, the other person will too! There is plenty of time for serious on the next date.

Tip #3- DATE IN GROUPS! This takes all the pressure off a ‘first date’ when you hardly know them. Organise a group of friends to go out and invite your date along with the group. Dating in groups is safe and fun. It provides you with opportunity to get to know the other person better in a group setting where there is not so much pressure. It’s less like a ‘date’ and more like a group of friends hanging out!

Tip #4- ASK QUESTIONS. Start with the light hearted questions like favourite food, music, people etc and then if you still like what you hear and see after the first date venture into the deeper questions later. Listen carefully to the answers of the questions and ask more questions about their interests later.

Here are some ideas for questions to get you started:

Light discussion:

Favourite food, band, style of music, book.

Where did you go to school?

Hobbies

Favourite people in the world- why?

Deeper questions- good things to know:

What was your life like growing up?

What were your relationships like with your parents, brothers or sisters?

What memories do you have of holidays, parties, birthdays, family fun?

Where did you go to school?

As a kid, were you happy, sad, shy, outgoing, good in school?

What did you do for fun as a kid?

Were you rich or poor? How did you measure that?

Have you had any serious illnesses in your family?

Who was your first love? How did you meet?

Who influenced you the most in your life?

Have you had any major turning points in your life?

Have you had to make any major life changing decisions?

Do you have any regrets?

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

As you establish a deeper relationship talk with one another about your families it will help you better understand the other person.

Questions relating to Family of Origin:

How alike are your families? How different? What are your family traditions?

How does your family communicate with one another?

When you are searching for your life partner or soulmate it is important to find someone you connect with. You have more of a chance of doing this when you ask the right questions!