Religion and stress can work to your benefit or detriment.

Religion and stress might seem like an unlikely connection, but the two are very closely related. On the one hand, religion can greatly help to reduce emotional stress on your family. On the other hand, religion can become one of the major causes of stress.

The healing and inspirational power of religion can quickly become an oppressive, deadening force in your family. It is, unfortunately, a part of human nature to force our beliefs on others.

Obviously, children need moral guidance and to learn to be rooted and grounded in a personal belief system. It is primarily the responsibility of parents to teach this, by example first, and words second.

Don't let religion and stress become a problem in your family

Your children need a moral base to stand on. They need a belief system to help them navigate through the murky waters of modern society. Without an inner voice guiding them to make sound, healthy decisions, they can easily be led down a path they later greatly regret.

It requires time and patience to instill moral beliefs into a child. They are incredibly observant and aware of hypocrisy and deceit. Children learn primarily by your example, not only in the early years, but possibly more so as they grow older and understand more. Those beliefs will remain, even in the midst of teenage turmoil, though it might not appear to be so at the time!

Talk to them, listen to them, spend time together and point out everyday examples of right and wrong. They don't need to be preached at, just shared with. Never allow religion and stress to become part of your moral guidance. Use the time in the car, at the table, on a walk. Before you know it, they will be grown and on their own.

Why is the preacher's kid so bad?

Very often, those people who wish to have model children end up with a disaster. Preacher's kids are often some of the most rebellious. Just talk to one of them and it quickly becomes evident what happened. All the demands for great behavior, service to the church, and the constant drumming of instruction had the reverse effect of driving them away.

Religion and stress can quickly become associated together, especially when our intentions are so good! Sometimes parents try too hard to make something good grow.

In Norway I once saw a statue of a famous Viking ruler who Christianized the country by the sword and broad-axe, so I was told. Either you converted or got your head chopped off. Talk about religion and stress! There just has to be a better way in our families!

Children are not our guinea pigs, where we try out our programs and experiment with the latest new idea. Religion and stress can disrupt their normal development and cause them to suffer for years. They deserve our respect and true care. Give them the space they need, trust them, let them make mistakes and learn.

You can't just leave them to their own devices either, unless you want to reap a whirlwind later on. Find a balance, each child is unique and special. Plus, they are only children once. Make spirituality a part of their lives by making it important in yours. Then you can enjoy the journey together and learn and grow together. This bond is unbreakable because it is born out of life.

How can religion help your family?

The restorative power of a living religion to reduce emotional and physical stress is amazing. Reading, praying, and meditating all can greatly help reduce stress in your family.

One of the greatest healing powers of religion lies in thankfulness. Making a habit of being thankful will greatly reduce the stress in any relationship, especially in a family.

It is amazing how a little quiet time can help to manage stress. Whether you find your quiet time alone in your house, walking down a garden path, hiking in the woods, or sitting in a church, the power of a peaceful, quiet time is enormous.

Meditative reading not only calms your mind, but gives inspirational motivation to strive for the best you can become. There is so much wonderful reading material available, the key is to have it close at hand and to use it. Don't let it be like the decaying vegetable in many refrigerator drawers; it was bought with good intentions, but never eaten!

Prayer give you peace and clarity of mind. When children observe you praying, not just for deliverance from the latest crisis, but as a part of your life, they will naturally be drawn to it. There is no need to be formal and use big words to try and sound spiritual, it is far better to be real.

In this way, religion and stress becomes a useful tool to improve our lives, as well as give our children a life-long example to live by.

What about organized religion and stress?

Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and a dozen other major and minor religions exist throughout the world. Religious intolerance is responsible for so many of the world's problems. Oddly enough, most, if not all, teach tolerance for the beliefs of others. Somehow, that is just forgotten and overlooked.

It can happen that your children will choose a different religion that yours. Often, this is more of a search for meaning and truth than a rebellion. The truth should be able to withstand the closest scrutiny, so it is a good thing to search and seek. In this way, they will draw their own conclusions and be authentic.

There is a fine line between being a responsible parent and forcing your will on your child. When it concerns religion, extra sensitivity is required to guide them. Religion and stress should be part of our healing and growing, not our arguing and strife!

Religion is about life! Make sure it is just that, and not only a formal going-through-the-motions experience. Don't let it become you do just because you are supposed to do it. Your involvement and enthusiasm will be contagious, far more than forcing your will.