So you have crossed that frantic stage of groping wildly at your favorite areas, and have calmed down enough to realize that she also has arms, shoulders, legs, a head, a back… the works. Now that you have noticed that there is more to her body than what you observed initially, you can also become more sensuous in your loving – which will make it that much better for both of you. One excellent way to stoke the embers for a leisurely, lengthy lovemaking session is to start with a sensual massage.

The first rule is: don’t massage without lubrication; you need oil. Even if you don’t have an aromatherapy oil (better to buy one), use baby oil, or any other oil.

Rule two: don’t use too much of it (ever tried to wash oil off cloth? And you don’t want to be slipping right off her later on, do you?).

Rule three: remember that a woman’s skin is far more sensitive and thinner than a man’s. Most women like to be touched gently (and men are sometimes too rough), so keep the touching gentle unless she specifically asks you to touch her more firmly.

Rule four: Your manner should be unhurried and relaxed. Nothing is more off-putting for a woman than a man who is in a hurry to complete the preliminaries and rush towards dessert. You can use several scented candles, and soft music for ambiance… this will help you relax, too.

Now, get into the mood – not a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am mood’, but a sensual mood that is on a completely different plane altogether. You can follow your instincts and start where you feel like. Alternately, if you feel the need to follow some guidelines, it is a good idea to start with the shoulders and neck. Some experts also suggest that you start with the head. The temples, when rubbed in gentle circles, always feel good, and will put her at ease.

Ask her for feedback intermittently. Does she need extra massage on some places (neck and shoulders), does she need gentler/firmer touching, or is there anything else she would rather have you do? If she is making happy satisfied sounds, you are probably on the right track.

And now for the last rule – rule five – DON’T squash her. The most comfortable position in which you can give a massage is to straddle her. But please don’t just throw your weight on her - support your own weight as far as possible. Follow these guidelines, and you are well on your way to a fulfilling sensual experience!