Pride and Prejudice – 1 Star (Terrible)

Pride and Prejudice is another retelling of Jane Austin's novel set in 19th Century England about a mother trying to marry off her 5 daughters to prosperous gentlemen callers.

Unfortunately for Jane Austin and this viewer, the movie was an English presentation, which means the sound is so bad you could hardly hear lines at critical times, the script adaptation was fractured (the British love to do this as it makes the movie seem cryptic, they so love cryptic, no one else does, but they revel in it), and about 80% of the movie appeared artificial (many crowd scenes without a purpose and speaking lines while walking down the road with noise all around).

What is it with the British? They too often make films you cannot hear, and the technical flaws and lack of attention take center stage in what should be a showpiece in a classic like Pride and Prejudice.

This 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice is forgettable to me, except for two scenes, saved by Keira Knightly, who was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar but did not win; she may have won if the director of this technical undoing was worth a snap.

Pride and Prejudice did win its share of honors, with 4 Oscar nominations (no wins) and 35 other nominations from 18 different award groups. These award givers were apparently watching a great movie, it just was not the same movie I was watching.

Punch-Drunk Love – 1 Star (Terrible)

I felt this comedy with Adam Sandler might be disappointing just based on the title, and, true to form, it was disappointing. Punch-Drunk Love is a terrible film with terrible dialogue, terrible sequence and terrible throughout; the film never gets better, it is lousy to the end and stupid beyond belief.

It is not worth watching even though Adam Sandler is the lead, and that is saying something. Sandler needs a better script and a better story line to showcase his talent. Did I mention that the director of this mess, Paul Thomas Anderson, is also the writer? ('nuff said).

Any awards for Punch-Drunk Love? Are you serious, mate? I forgot the title to this film before I left the theater, and I was sober.

The Royal Tenenbaums – 1 Star (Terrible)

A sorry, sorry comedy starring one of Hollywood's great actors, Gene Hackman. This has to the worst film of Hackman's illustrious career. I thought Punch-Drunk Love was bad, The Royal Tenebaums made Punch-Drunk look better. It is such a tragedy to see Gene Hackman in a film like this.

Rumor Has It – 1 Star (Terrible)

Jennifer Aniston (as journalist Sarah Huttinger) is going nowhere a thousand miles an hour in Rumor Has It. This movie is disjointed, not psychologically sound, and comes together like mixing four different kinds of food on your plate, eating it, and saying it tastes good.

You almost want to like the film, but it underwhelms you at every turn. Director Rob Reiner was out to lunch on this one.

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Chris Farley – 1 Star (Terrible)

This is the only film of Chris Farley's actual performances on Saturday Night Live. It tells nothing about Chris Farley's funny, successful career and tragic death from alcohol and drug abuse. Like too many real life comedians, Chris Farley was a troubled and unhappy person beneath the comedic veneer.

It is hard to forget "da Bears" (NFL Chicago Bears) routine at its apex, and hard to forget Chris. I gave this only one star because I think it should have been a 2-hour presentation with his total performance, not just pulling snippets out of context. Farley's martial arts routine was completely left out of this compilation.

The bottom line for me is that this production does a great disservice to Chris Farley and what he brought to Saturday Night Live; perhaps it was strictly a commercial effort without any thought of telling the real story behind what made Farley the comedian he was. Where is a narrator when you need one?

Saturday Night Live is a shadow of what it used to be, and Chris Farley is one of the reasons why.