People differ from one another in almost every possible respect. Where speaking is concerned, some have a relatively tight tongue, in the sense that they do not easily speak out against something in a critical or wounding way when a thing is done or said to them. Other have a loose tongue in the sense that they are inclined to lash out with it at the least provocation. Others may occupy any position along the continuum.

At The Extremes

In both these extreme cases, and for any one tending towards them, the tongue is uncontrolled. In the one case, people may fail to speak when they ought. This could be taken for self control when it is in fact a spiritual or character weakness. The emotions are not under control and a consequence may well be that they fasten inside themselves feelings which do the same for their spirituality as water does for iron. They are not progressing in these matters and, in fact, their spiritual base is being eroded away.

People with a loose tongue are similarly injuring themselves, and may also be inflicting damage on others (and whether the others warrant it or not is God’s business, not our, and he can actually be left to deal with it in both a just and compassionate manner — which is quite beyond our capabilities).

On balance, although tight-tongued people may cause injury to others by not speaking out when they should, loose-tongued people probably cause considerably more damage by their unconsidered outspokenness. Because I am hurt, I then inflict hurt on someone else (perhaps not even on the person who is responsible for injuring me!). If they respond in like manner, I am hurt again, or someone else is hurt because of my initial reaction — and are perhaps hurt again when I respond to their reaction!

A very serious form of loose-tonguedness is tittle-tattling behind the backs of other people: complaining about them, criticising them, undermining their reputations, and so forth. This is not acceptable conduct for any Christian in respect of any other person, and certainly not in respect of fellow Christians. Probably nothing undermines the sense and reality of fellowship and community more effectively. Even when the targeted person is not aware of it, it breeds, with great effectiveness, a destructive atmosphere of unlove and mistrust. It cannot do any other, because that is the nature of what is being done!

Why do people do it? Because they think this other person has hurt them? injured them? neglected them? insulted them? used them? All these things can be very difficult for us to handle, but we must find other ways of dealing with them, for these are very serious sins.

Do we want others to be talking like this about us? Jesus told us:

Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6. 31, NIV)

even if you feel unloved by them, because

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. (Luke 6:31-32, NIV )

This kind of loose-tonguedness not only destroys what should be the essence of a Christian atmosphere, and not only ruins the reputations of other people, it most effectively destroys us more than them. It involves considerable personal risk since

... in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:2, NIV )

The passing sense of satisfaction is hardly worth the consequence..