Dating Divorced Men - Red Flags to Watch for Part 1
- Author Ronnie Ann Ryan
- Published August 28, 2007
- Word count 684
Dating is all about getting to know people and screening for a good match. It’s important to know what qualities you want in a partner, but how do you know if the men you meet are even ready for a relationship?
Described below are four telltale warning signs to watch for, especially with divorced men or those leaving a marriage. The last thing you want to be is a “transitional woman,” supporting a man through the emotional trauma of divorce and getting him prepped for the next woman he meets! That’s a painful scenario every woman wants to avoid.
Don’t get scared away from dating divorced men. Many divorced men make fabulous partners who want to try again. They’ve already had experience with commitment and frequently prefer to be in relationship. The point is to use these insights to evade obvious pitfalls and be smart about whom you choose to date.
Keep in mind you’re looking for behavioral warnings rather than verbal clues. While these points are generalizations for judging a man’s readiness, if several flags start waving you probably want to think twice.
- Only gives you his cell phone number
Today, there is a small percentage of people who have only on a cell phone because its easier to have just one phone. But providing only a cell phone number can be a tip off that the guy is married, living with someone or involved with multiple partners. For instance, he may have a home phone, but doesn’t want anyone else to answer your calls. This is one of those red flags that requires a bit of woman’s intuition, so pay attention to your instincts.
- Separated or recently divorced and wounded
Whether separated or recently divorced, these men tend to be unstable. The end of a marriage can cause deep wounds for anyone. A man whose wife filed for divorce is often in a lot of emotional pain. He may be sensitive and appear needy or angry and even looking for revenge.
Either way, do you want to be Florence Nightingale, nursing him back to emotional health? Therapists agree people need at least one year or more to heal from the pain of divorce. The best advice is to steer clear or be very careful before getting too attached.
- Just divorced and ready to party
Here’s a guy who’s ready for the good life. Finally free and looking to sample a variety of feminine fare, this man doesn’t have the capacity for a relationship and will want nothing to do with obligation or responsibility. If a man doesn’t call you regularly, keep appointments, offers no excuses or too many, he might be the “party” type. Don’t get involved or you may wind up as the flavor of the month.
- Still lives with wife or ex wife
While there may be some legal and financial reasons to remain in the marital house, do you really want to date a man who is still sharing the same roof with his wife? The possibility looms that he might find himself back in her bed. Even if there isn’t a chance for reconciliation, he’s still involved deeper than you’ll want.
Also, if you can’t go to his home because “she’s” there, the relationship can feel lopsided. You might start wondering if he’s spending time at your place because he enjoys it or because it’s a great escape from his difficult living situation. For these reasons, it’s best to date a man who is already out on his own.
The most important thing to remember is that there is an amazing abundance of single men. Right now in the US, there are 42 million adults over 40 who are single and nearly half are men! Why fall for an unavailable man who isn’t likely to give you the love you deserve? When you start to encounter red flags, pay attention and consider looking for a new man who has an open heart and plenty of love to share.
To discover 10 Reasons Why Women Should Never Pay on the First Date, visit http://www.NeverTooLate.biz Check out the book MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan and for a Daily Dose of Dating Advice, read her blog at http://www.NeverTooLate.biz/category/main
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