Confronting a Cheating Spouse - What You Need to Prepare For

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Daryl Campbell
  • Published July 25, 2010
  • Word count 421

Nobody knows how they will react when they find out their significant other is carrying on an extramarital affair. Most people tell themselves that they will remain calm no matter what and if push comes to shove they will be the one that stays on the high road.

Others have no such preconceived notions. This is their life that has been ruined by a person they once loved and trusted. That's all gone now and they are determined to have it out. Let the chips fall where they may and whatever happens so be it. That's a pretty intense (and not recommended) point of view but finding out your significant other is cheating can inspire those type of feelings.

But when you do confront your spouse there is no guarantee that they will just sit meekly in the corner and listen attentively as you berate them for their transgression periodically begging you for forgiveness. Therefore be prepared for other reactions like:

  1. Lying

In the movie Guide For The Married Man, one guy tells his friend that if his wife ever catches him cheating then "deny, deny, deny." In some circles it's called lying and your spouse may be ready to prevaricate to the end no matter what facts you have on your side. Photos, video and audio recordings and eye witness accounts will still not shake them from their course. If you have proof so be it but don't expect them to confess in any way shape or form.

  1. Arrogance

Careful. This one can make you crazier than the lying. You confront them with the evidence and they shrug their shoulders and tell you "so what?" It's their life and they will do what they want when they want. They laugh at your proof and continue on like you just asked them what they wanted for dinner. Keep calm and if necessary get out of the house and don't come back until you have secured the services of a top notch divorce lawyer.

  1. Blame Shifting

Okay you caught them and they admit the truth but they are not going down without a fight which comes in the form of pointing the finger at you. Sure they cheated but its really your fault. If only you had went to that party two years ago or listened to them when they poured their heart out about how much they hated their job. Or any of a number of things that they can use as an emotional weapon to turn the tables on you.

Next, find out more on confronting your cheating spouse the right way by going to the relationship tip.

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