If you have your heart set on the most romantic wedding ever, you must approach the event with cold-hearted pragmatism and realism. Spontaneity and improvisation live at the heart of romantic dates, but cold calculation quickens the heart of romantic weddings. Yes "natural" is synonymous with romantic, but there is almost nothing natural about working with Mother Nature to create a heart-melting setting for your nuptials. As you plan your tear-drenched romantic wedding, read everything Jane Austen ever wrote, and then consider…

Setting

Of course, outdoor settings create the most romance. Sadly, they frequently create the greatest inconvenience. Beaches, for example, seem wonderfully romantic settings for all kinds of romantic events; but, in a beach wedding, the bride, bridesmaids, and female guests cannot walk easily across the sand in high heels, and the person performing the wedding may not make himself heard above the crashing waves. Similarly, a beautiful garden or thick forest glade seems like a perfectly romantic setting, provided no mosquitoes accost the guests and the ring-bearer does not get all grass-stained before the ceremony. Naturally, overcoming the complications adds to the romance, and the results are worth the effort in planning and staging.

Time of day and the lighting

Summer sunset seems like the moment of perfection in the romantic time zone, especially if you are getting married on a west-facing beach. Here too, however, you must anticipate and cope with the complications. If you imagined silhouetting the bride and groom against the setting sun, then you conveniently forgot the guests would gaze directly into the fiery orb, seeing nothing; and photography would become almost impossible. Be reasonable, and let everyone enjoy the gloaming. Turn everyone to face north and south. For a garden wedding, early afternoon works best, because the sun drenches the proceedings in celestial light. In the spring and fall, the bridal party and guests can hold-up under the mid-day sun; in the summer, not so much. Compromise: drench the wedding party in all the sun they can handle, and put the guests under tents. Yes, sunglasses will become a difficult wardrobe issue, but it’s a small price to pay for so much romance.

Colors

Pastels are the most romantic among the tints and hues. You especially achieve breathtakingly romantic effects when the flowers, decorations, and bridesmaids’ gowns all come from the same palette. Only two problems arise: First, a thoughtful bride never would stick her bridesmaids with gowns so frighteningly pastel they never could wear them again. "Seafoam" comes to mind as a terribly thoughtless choice. Second, the groomsmen will fail in pastels; no boy can look good in seafoam. Adorn the bride with all the floral accents she can carry, and focus on elegance for the rest of the bridal party. Liberally add flowers as needed.

Music

Just two words suffice: String quartet. Although a harpist would be lovely, no thoughtful bride would make a harpist lug her instrument out onto the beach or into a forest glade. For a little extra oomph in the romantic music, though, you may perhaps add flute.

The ceremony itself

If you plan to go with the traditional liturgy, ask the clergyman to go light on homily and heavy on Psalms. If you plan to compose your own romantic vows, keep them simple, and follow the real rules of poetry, remembering that iambic pentameter imitates the rhythm of the heart.