Men and women alike believe that we all have to do things to catch someone’s attention and make them attracted to us. Plenty of men spend their time memorizing tips for attracting women and pick-up routines, honing their palmistry skills, learning magic tricks and busting out with all manner of gimmicks and party tricks to try to catch a girl’s eye and get a conversation started. At the same time, women wear tight tops and short skirts, perfect the flirty hair flip and become experts in the art of seduction to attract men.

Of course, this posturing and posing can be great entertainment and can be quite fun, but is it really helping to ignite attraction?

I have written a lot about tips to attract women. Between that and my own experience, there is one thing I have definitely learned: The harder we try to do something, the more likely we are to fail. This is true in all aspects of life, and igniting attraction is no exception. If you force it, it won’t happen.

All you really need to do is have a good time. I know this may sound strange or too simple, but when it comes to how to attract women, tips on how to show her a good time are really what you need. The whole point of those initial encounters is to get her to want to hang out with you more and to start showing her that you would make a good partner. People like to spend time with people they have fun with. And, the way to attract the right girl for you is to focus simply on having a good time together and allowing whatever happens to happen. Feeling comfortable around each other will make it much more natural to call each other, hang out and get to know one another better.

Tips to Attract Women #1: Being on the Same Wavelength

There is more to having a great time together than drinking and dancing. Part of what you are going for is feeling like the two of you are on the same wavelength. Getting that feeling that another person understands you completely is a powerful thing, which makes establishing a connection that much more important. Find out what the two of you have in common and build on that. That initial conversation is a great time to find out if you like the same bands or movies, or to see if you know any of the same people.

When you are ready to step it up a notch, you can move on to deeper conversations, such as talking about her life goals, her role models or what their childhood was like. Sharing this type of personal information can make someone feel like they know you well, even if you just met that night.

Tips for Attracting Women #2: Get Your Flirt On

How to attract women tips often include tips on flirting, and with good reason. Flirtatious banter and a bit of teasing can go a long way in creating a connection. Some guys think teasing is too forward, since it is normally reserved for people you know pretty well, but it’s a great way to flirt.

Think back to your days on the playground and how boys would chase girls around the swings to express their interest. Back then, teasing was a great way to invite someone to come play with you.

Adults really are not any different; we flirt and tease in a playful manner to invite people to come play with us too.

Flirting can take many forms. There is the over-the-top use of old school pick-up lines and compliments done in a humorous manner to keep them laughing, teasing them about something that they are proud of or being funny in some other way. Flirting and humor are the perfect partnership. The importance lies in knowing when enough is enough; too much teasing or flirting can quickly become annoying. Flirt, make her laugh and leave her wanting more.

Tips to Attract Women #3: Spending Time Alone Together

If you really want to build a connection, all the tips to attract women in the world will not help you if you are always in a group. Hanging out with the guys is great, but if you want to get to know a girl and get that attraction ignited, you need to spend time with her alone. Go outside to get some air, grab a private table, retire to an empty corner in the back of the bar – do what you need to do to be able to have a one-one-one conversation.

Tips for Attracting Women #4: Do More than Talk

Even guys who know all the tips to attract women and have practiced their dating skills for years can have a hard time keeping a conversation alive and entertaining. To help avoid awkward silences and pressure, do more than talk. You can take a walk, ask if she wants to grab a bite to eat, get out on the dance floor or even just check out the venue.

Remember, taking her to more than one place will make her feel like you have known each other longer than you actually have. Each venue will feel like a separate date and will increase your opportunities to share experiences in different environments.

Tips to Attract Women #5: Nonsexual Touching

One of the toughest parts of that initial dating phase is knowing when the first kiss should happen. Women appreciate a little warning before the big event, while guys need some encouragement in order to know when the time is right.

Nonsexual touching is your key to opening that door to the first kiss. Getting comfortable with nonsexual touch, such as touching her arm, rubbing her shoulders, hugging, guiding her to her seat with your hand on the small of her back or brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face will all help her get used to you touching her and will pave the way for the big kiss.

It’s normal for any of us to tense up when someone new touches us, even if it is a welcome touch. That is why nonsexual touching needs to start way before you try for a first kiss.

Take these how to attract women tips to heart and you will find that igniting real attraction can be easy and fun. Remember, don’t force it. Just follow these tips for attracting women, and let things happen naturally.