If you have recently gone through a relationship breakup, you are probably wondering if you can get your ex lover back. Take heart it could be possible as many relationships are fixable. There are many websites and other publications offering advice on reconciliation, but how do you know which will help and which may make things even worse?

It may seem obvious, but the first person you should trust before you look to others is yourself. Use your own common sense, you are the one who knows your ex and the details of your relationship the best after all. We are all unique, and the one who is likely to have the best instincts regarding how to proceed is you.

Ask yourself a few questions, what really caused your breakup? Is it one big thing or lots of little things? There is no way you will be able to fix the relationship until you fix the issues that caused you to grow apart in the first place. You should also ask yourself if you are really compatible. Is it even worth getting back together, or are there compatibility issues that are beyond fixing. If you come to the conclusion you just are not right for each other then even if you do fix things this time, you will breakup again down the road. Sometimes it is better to just let go.

The next step is to ask family and friends for their input. Ask them what they think broke you apart, it can often be surprising and enlightening to get the views of someone outside of your relationship. You never can tell, you may find out something you didn't know before.

Now it is time to try talking to your ex. Arrange a meeting on neutral grounds, preferably in a public place like a restaurant, or park. That way you will have to remain cool, as there will be other people around. This meeting is going to be emotionally charged, and it's best if you can prevent it from degenerating into a shouting match, as this wont help anyone.

During this meeting be friendly and positive. It is best to gently put your cards on the table, tell them you still love them and miss them, and would like a second chance. You could also suggest couples counseling, it is also important to apologize for any wrongs you have done to your partner. Remind them of the good times, it is important to seem and remain positive. Their reaction to what you say will tell you if you have a chance of reconciliation, they may even agree to take you back there and then.

If the signs look good but they don't take you back straight away don't give up. Re-building trust and love may take time, but at least you have opened communication channels, and put your cards on the table. Part on good terms and ask them to think things over. Time is a great healer so be patient.

If you do want to get your ex lover back, I hope these tips have helped you to see a path you can take. Don't expect it to be an easy path, but reconciliation is possible after many breakups so don't give up hope.