One of the most common questions we get asked by couples is how do swingers avoid becoming jealous when they see their partners having sex with someone else. Sadly, swinging does seem to attract couples with a jealousy issue and they are very tempted to experiment by attending a swinger party but then the moment of doubt arises.

We could list many examples where that moment of doubt turns into a moment of real jealousy The way we answer the questions about jealousy has become a more negative over the many years that we have been running a swingers club and organising swinger parties. If the doubt stems from a deep sense of distrust and possessiveness in either partner, they should probably not go in for swinging.

On the other hand the doubt might simply be a perfectly natural manifestation of anxiety that goes hand in glove with all the other little worries that people experience when contemplating swinging for the first time. Under these circumstances, anxiety about how they will feel when the moment comes, is really no more than a healthy preparation for what is actually a relationship strengthening experience.

The idea of monogamous sex is very much ingrained into us by the conditioning of the monogamous society in which most of us have been brought up. It should be viewed with little wonder that some envy will remain during our first experiences of swinging. If the swinger couple share a healthy and fundamentally trusting relationship however,they'll soon be able to deal with any issues which remain .

The strengthening comes about as a result of having sex in front of one another - it leaves nothing to hide. Before a couple become swingers, they can only guess about how their respective partners would be when having sex with another person; afterwards the guess work is no longer necessary. This is a positive thing because it is the fear of the unknown that causes people to react in negative and often self destructive ways. Trust is developed by knowing your partner better, whilst guessing can often be used to avoid knowing them better because deep down one fears finding something they do not want to.

Many of the most experienced swinger couples we have met over the years have told us that their relationship has been strengthened in this way. Time and time again, swingers leaving a swinger party pass comment on how much fun the party sex was but how their love-making would be enhanced as a result of it when they got home.

Overall then, doubts and fears regarding jealousy are fully justified and it needs to be admitted in swinger circles that there are people who will either never be able to handle their jealousy in a partner swapping situation or who are unready to do so at the time they are considering engaging in the swinger lifestyle. For other couples, the concerns are quite healthy and whilst they may continue to experience some jealous feelings from time to time, they will not only learn how to handle them but they will experience a strengthening of trust in their relationship as a result of swinging.