How To Avoid Messing Up Your Date?

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Amuro Wesley
  • Published October 26, 2010
  • Word count 857

You have just signed up with a matchmaking agency and have been on a few dates recently. By right, you should have a girlfriend and moving up with her to an intimacy level as what most couples do. You know, developing chemistry, laughing, kissing and hugging etc.

Unfortunately that is far from the truth. That is what you see other people doing but not yourself and the girl. And the reason is because despite being introduced to several girls, you did not go on dates with all of them as some of them just dumped after seeing your actual looks. And the rest of those whom you managed to go on dates with, you ended up messing them up.

So what actually went wrong? What is the one thing that most loving couples do that you did not? If you have been asking yourself these questions, you are not alone. There are many guys wondering the same way.

The answer is very obvious. But even if you know, what’s the point if you do not want to admit your mistake? After all, nobody likes to admit their mistakes right? If you do, I won’t blame you. Because I felt the same way too years ago.

Learning how to communicate has been the single most important requirement of getting along with people. Not just at home, schools and work but in dating as well. And it is not just greeting and asking how the party is doing since everyone knows that.

I have a friend who is an actor and very successful entrepreneur in network marketing business of healthcare products. He once told me that only seventy percent of the communicaton is verbal. The rest is simply just body language. What he basically means is that if the other party has a negative impression of you in body language, he or she will be not be interested in whatever things you want to say.

But if someone else comes along and approaches with the same topic, the other party will respond instantly and cheerfully.

The point that I am trying to drive at is that body language plays an equally important role in communication as to having good verbal skills. It took me a very long time to realize this since I am an introvert myself and do not like to talk to people initially. And when I finally opened up to people, I tend to screw things up.

Now moving back to dating, you need to listen besides talking. Now that is when your body language will start to manifest itself be it positive or negative. Of course you can introduce yourself and tell her about what you do for a living, your hobbies and what you actually look for in your life partner.

But when it is her turn to talk, you need to listen attentively. As much as you want her to respond positively probably with a smile or even a laugh at what you said, she will want you to do the same. So it is important to listen and not get distracted by other things. Even food!

Speaking of food, some people just gobble everything like a pack of wolves instead of eating and digesting slowly. I hate to mention this but if you are one of those, you need to change your public eating manners. If you do not, you definitely won’t in dating. There have been stories of girls walking out on dates simply because they cannot stand men eating as though they had not eaten for days.

If you can, make her laugh. If you cannot think of any joke, go and read some books on how to make women laugh or do some online research. Recent history shows that men who can make women laugh have a higher and better chance of developing their dating further.

Last but not least, show her concern and respect her whatever her decision may be. The truth is if you truly love someone, you need to pay attention to her needs and accept whatever she wants. For instance, give her an extra napkin or tissue paper to wipe her mouth after eating. And if the girl wants to pay for the meal instead of you paying as what everyone will said you should since you are, by all means let your ego go and allow her to do so. The same goes if she tells you that she has been seeing other guys and has not been able to decide which one to be her boyfriend.

As David DeAngelo of Double Your Dating once mentioned, attraction does not happen by logic. It happens by choice. So whatever your family and friends told you that does not tally with her thoughts, you can simply throw it out of the window. Since you are dating her and not them, you need to respect her decision. If you can do that, whether you eventually get accepted by her or not, you will still leave a great impression.

Not on her but on any girl that you will be dating in the near future.

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