Saving A Relationship And Making It Work – Three Ways to Do It
- Author Richard Wright
- Published November 24, 2010
- Word count 631
When things are going from bad to worse, it’s hard to see any solution at all. Well, here's the good news: despite the tough situation that you're in, you still can fix it. Saving a relationship is not an easy thing to do, but it can be easier if you know exactly what to do.
Search For Reasons
Deep down below everything, there is got to be some concrete reasons why things are going wrong. Perhaps your relationship’s lost its spark, it's just not romantic anymore. It could be that something has changed in one of your lives. Perhaps you’re not communicating properly anymore or taking pleasure in each other’s company.
Cheating is often a problem, but I’ll tell you something most people don’t realize: cheating usually isn’t a cause; it’s a symptom. For somebody to cheat, there has to be something wrong already. Nobody in a happy relationship cheats on their lover.
A good way to fix things is to sit down together and make up a list of whatever you like and a list of whatever you don’t like about each other. I know what you’re thinking, "That sounds crazy!" Well, reality is not often easy to digest. But, getting these things out in the open helps find the reasons for the unhappiness. It’s time to be completely honest. And also, your "likes" list will help you both recall the good things and realize your relationship’s worth saving.
Good Communication
Everybody knows that it’s all about good communication, but what is that exactly? There are three things you have to communicate well:
Forgiveness – You both did a few awful things probably. Well, anything bad from the past is going to be erased and you’re about to start clean. Forgive each other and don’t play the "blame game." That's where you’re both pointing the finger and saying "YOU did this and YOU did that." Saving a relationship means forgiving the past and building a plan for the future.
Honesty – Place all the cards on the table. Nothing but complete honesty is going to resolve things. It could hurt sometimes, but it’s the only way to make it work.
Good Listening – Communicating is about more than speaking. When you’re sharing how you feel and laying out the honest truth, you’ve got to listen to each other. Now’s not the time to offer a point-for-point rebuttal. No excuses or explanations, simply listen to what each other need to say.
Fix it
Saving a relationship is a joint venture. You have to make a plan for the future that will work, and you’ve got to make it together. It’s got to be a good agreement for the two of you.
When we’re attempting to fix things, there’s a tendency to just go along with what the other person desires. This is a big mistake. This will make things better in the short-term, but it means one of you will likely be unhappy eventually. Those issues that caused your near-breakup will certainly come sneaking back in. You need to both be happy with your plan for saving your relationship.
In the beginning of this article, we created a list of problems, right? Now we are going to deal with them one-by-one. First, put in priority on the list. Begin with the most important or greatest issue, and work on that one first. Don’t try to fix everything at the same time.
If you’re both committed to fixing things, it can be done. When things already got better and you feel those "sparks" once again, you'll realize that saving a relationship is not that difficult and worth the effort.
See more about saving a relationship at how to repair a broken relationship. Look into my Relationship Recovery review for the most recommended expert assistance in this matter.
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