My Ex Boyfriend Wants Me Back - Three Questions Before You Decide Anything

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Michelle Evans
  • Published December 7, 2010
  • Word count 601

"My ex boyfriend wants me back and he's serious about it!" Even though it’s wonderful news, and it may be just what you were wishing for, it can also make you pretty confused. Yesterday, you might still thinking how to get him back or if the relationship is worth to fight for, but suddenly you have a decision to make. So, what should you do when your ex wants you back?

Have Things Really Changed?

An essential thing to ask yourself is whether it’s going to be different this time. Think thoroughly – Exactly what triggered the break-up? Is that issue going to be resolved? Some couples get back together again and things are great for a while; then, all of the old problems come creeping back, and you’re right back where you started.

If he wants you back, it doesn’t mean that everything’s good again. You’ve both got to work through the problems and get them solved this time if you want to be happy together again.

Who Is In The Driver’s Seat?

This is another really important thing to ask. You’ve been doing your thing, but now HE wants YOU back. So, is he the one calling the shots? Before you say yes, you’d better consider things a bit. If he’s in total control of the situation, this is not going to be healthy for you. You don’t want to be like his pet collie; when he snaps his fingers, you come running.

Get a minute to be honest with yourself and ask: "Is this what I truly want?" Your emotions are soaring at this moment, so get into a calm place to think about it. Also, look at the long term and consider if this is a good idea.

Don’t Hesitate To Ask "Why?"

Why does he wants you back? This is a truly significant question, and it’s going to help you evaluate if it’s the right thing or not. He had a reason for breaking up and you should find out what happened to that.

Lots of guys, especially younger guys, leave because they’re afraid of commitment. This is a major problem for men for some reason. Maybe he wants to "play the field" a little more; probably he needs time to think on his own; or quite often, he’s just scared, doesn’t understand why, and needs to run away. After a few months of missing his girl, he realizes that he was an idiot and comes back.

The Right Way to Get Back Together And Make It Work This Time

Getting back and being happy isn’t as easy as just saying "yes." This time you’ve got to make it work. One thing you can do is to give it a "trial time." Get back together, but make several conditions. Don’t spend too much time together. Observe how things go before you make a major commitment again, so you can make sure he’s serious.

This time, make it different. Concentrate on the issue or issues that triggered your break-up, and devote yourselves to working it out. If you really want to get back together and make it work, you can do this.

No matter what else you do, work on improving your communication. Lots of times, break-ups occur because of breakdowns in communication. Communicating well will help you solve your problems. The next time he feels like leaving, he’ll talk to you and both of you can work it out without all the heartbreak and drama.

Getting him back doesn't imply the issue that triggered the break up is solved. Read save my relationship to find out how to identify relationship issue and resolve it. Also, read why women dump men to discover your genuine reasons for broke up with him before.

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