The Peculiarity

Fear of committed relationships among men is not very new. It had been there for very long time. Men were famous for their reluctance to give up their prerogatives. And a committed romantic affinity, just like a wedded state, would without exception - at slightest in their deal - cut them off from that privilege of being single.

Men are, naturally, very unconstrained. They are delighted to do and resolve things for themselves, and by themselves. Being bonded, for instance, would put him in a condition where he no longer able to do whatsoever he likes the way he aspires. There is even an old tall story about it: "It is said that the bride wears white dress because white represents contentment and healthiness. If that's correct, then why does the groom , without exception, wrapped in black?"

But, although commitmentphobia among men had been there for very long time, it had never been a grave dilemma until now. Today, more and more men were found to have a fear to pledged alliance to some level, even to the order of phobia. Yes, more and more males undergo commitmentphobia today! What are the origin of it? And how can we deal with it?

The Mainspring

In today's world, the causes of fear of commitment in men are no longer as incomplex as in a few decades ago. Although it's still admittedly right that the primary root for fear of commitment among men is their objection to surrender autonomy, now the advancements that women have reaped also have a principal capacity.

Myriads women now are financially much more freewheeling. And more and more businesses, that were traditionally predominated by men now have been arrogated by women.

For ages, men casually have the part as provider for his kin. That function had conveyed them judgment of soundness. They knew that their kindred (partner and kids) needed them. The conjecture of being needed helped him feel valuable.

The flowing developments, plus the advancements in newscasting modern application that empower us to search every talk and lifestyle among celebrities with all their shocking stories, have degraded a lot of men's assurance and thoughts of surety. The information about how many women now can delude their men easily and rip them off, as well as their own bad experiences with women in their lives make the construct of being committed for a lifespan relationship to one lover is very scary!

And it's not just that. The ease trend now to have sex partner anytime they feel like to also contributes greatly to their disinclination to commit in relationships. There are more women now who do not mind to do a one night stand with a man with no strings attached. And also that "friend with benefit" trends that is so popular today makes more and more men perceive that a committed relationship is just unreasonable.

The Answer

I think there's no such thing as a decisive solution for this. If you are already in a affinity with a man with fear of committed relationships, then there are only two choices: either to break him up and guard yourself from more future upset and wretchedness, or to support him to overcome his commitmentphobia. The 2nd selection of course won't be easy. It can weaken you mentally and emotionally. But the option is yours to make. The key is, perseverance and self-control.

Frankly, I will not advocate to keep your affiliation with him unless you know with certainty, with all you heart and soul, that he is "the one" for you, your true one. But, even if he is, I have to warn you: your endeavour to win him will be very hard. You may have to pause contacting him for a few weeks or even months (after having a heart-to-heart conversation about what you require from him in the interrelation) to give him time and space to reflect and work out his problems. If he really loves you, then he will find himself at a point where he gets the picture that the thing he quails the most is losing you, not committing to you.

And for you who have not been in interrelations hip, there are several signs of commitment phobia that you can use to detect whether a guy friend is a sufferer of fear of commitment or not. Preventing is always easier than curing. So, if you see that a potential man suffers a fear of committed relationships, do yourself a favor: run! Unless... of course, you know deep within your heart that he is "the one" for you.