New To Swinging? Beware Of These Stumbling Blocks
- Author Brandon Strong
- Published February 27, 2011
- Word count 503
If a couple is new to swinging there are many questions and emotions that needs to be sorted out before they attempt seeking play partners. Any ‘successful’ swinging couple is going to be those that have mastered the ability to separate love and intimacy from laid back fun. It is even common for these couples to have invested in several months or perhaps years talking about it before meeting other married couples. The very first thing you need to realize about swinging is that it can’t be a thing you try in order to add spice to a faltering relationship. Only people who are secure in their relationship should even ever contemplate it! The slightest reservation or miss-trust towards your wife or husband is going to be amplified to the level of total melt down - you've been warned.
Jealousy in swinging is a thing that's very common. It's a natural emotion that most people have to go through and get over whenever they are new to swinging. It could take a while for you to be in a position to fully understand how to cope with these emotions. Quite often, the feelings of jealousy are simply too much for the people that are involved and they're not able to carry on with this life-style.
Partners
Should you and your spouse come to a decision that you would like to begin swinging, there are usually some feelings of jealousy initially. You'll find that this can be something that's going to be challenging at first. Simply make certain that you understand that they are together with you and that it is only sex that they're having with the other couple which are in the room.
Guidelines
Rules will often help any time you are having issues with jealousy during swinging. Many couples will determine that their partners are not allowed to reach climax with other swinging couples or that they are not allowed to kiss. Being able to go along with such rules that you've laid out with each other should help with concerns of trust and jealousy.
Take Your Time
It is a good idea for you to make sure that you are taking it slow, particularly whenever the envy reaches its most severe. You might want to simply do oral with other swinging partners or heavy petting. This can help both you and your lover to ease towards this lifestyle.
Most partners will begin as only ‘soft swingers’. This is simply being in the same room with another couple watching as well as being watched with no exchange. Later on they might decide to move on to ‘soft swap’ - wife swapping with limited intercourse such as just oral, no kissing. If jealously doesn't raise its ugly head yet, slowly start working on ‘full swap’.
Bare in mind, there are no rules except what you and your partner agree on. Take your time, have the rules, stick to the rules, continually be on the lookout for jealousy and just have fun.
The Mrs. and I have been swinging since early 2010 and I won’t lie, we’ve had to discuss many scenarios that we had not anticipated. When we were new to swinging we were not sure what to except but ended up making dozens of new open minded friends that we just enjoy being around, in or out of the bedroom. Most of what we’ve learned I share openly at: New To Swinging
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