You pledged an oath to love each other for better or worse. Regrettably, the ‘worse’ occurred and now your happy ever after is heading for the wall. A crumbling marriage, or one that is on the precipice of destruction, is in itself problematic. Men who have gone through the agony of a failing relationship know exactly how hurtful and arduous this whole situation can be. No doubt being left alone can be crippling. The thought of living without the one person you vowed to love till death do you part can have devastating consequences. But, don’t lose faith. Even though it seems like climbing Mt. Everest, winning your wife back is entirely possible.

So, what’s the plan to win back the heart of the woman you love? Think back to what you did that helped your wife fall in love with you in the first place. There must have been something special that she saw in you that gave her those butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings. That’s what you need to figure out. Be that man she fell in love with. Emphasize those virtues that caused her heart to skip a beat back in the day when the two of you were dating. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean you stop the romantic courtship. Take note, winning her back at this point is not a get her back quick 123 plan. It’s going to take a lot of time, much effort and a whole hell of a lot of patience, but you can do it. This is going to require a huge commitment on your part, so you must be focused on your goal, but don’t do anything stupid, be smart about it. Under no circumstances are you to stalk her, call her every repeatedly or even text her for that matter. It will only make matter worse and that will certainly NOT be helpful, in fact I would say that would be counter-productive in my book.

What will work is to be a gentleman and compliment her how great she looks. Remind her of how beautiful you think she is, of how beautiful you’ve always thought she was. A little bit of old fashioned male chivalry goes a long way. It takes a lot of guts to do what needs to be done, but be genuine and honest. She will see your sincerity shining through and that my friend is worth more than gold. Swallow your pride you won’t need it anyway. The goal is to focus on her and in the process rebuild the love and trust that was lost or damaged.

Do a self examination of your own foibles and faults and promise yourself you will change that behavior. There’s nothing worse than pointing out someone else’s mistakes when we haven’t addressed our own. Change is inevitable, but always strive to be better. There’s always something we can work on, so don’t give up. You can even discuss these things with her, just don’t beg for forgiveness. The last thing any woman wants to witness is her husband begging and crying, especially about making these kind of decisions. And even though your partner is your equal, each one of us, male and female alike has moments when they need to be nurtured and protected. So, prove to her that you are serious in your desire to make peace. Your persistence and patience will pay off when you see how astounded she becomes. If she refuses any of your advances, don’t make a big deal about it. She has the right to refuse. Obviously she still needs time to think things over.

Put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her feelings, motives and her perspective on things. Think about what made her mad in the first place causing a rift between you. What are the circumstance that drove her away. There is a lesson to be learned here. Come up with ways to not only avoid these issues in the future but to make them better for the future.

You need a brand new sense of commitment to get back your wife and that takes discipline. Practice positive approaches and set aside time to work on improving yourself and your relationship skills. Sulking and feeling bitter will not help to get back your wife. It’s just a waste of time. Be the best you that you can be. Remember, you’re her best friend, lover and husband, so step up and be the man she deserves, and once you have her back in your arms, never let her go again.