Save Your Marriage By Using Communication
- Author Matt Reese
- Published April 25, 2011
- Word count 514
Communication plays an extremely important role within a marriage. A couple that has no communication between them in a marriage will soon find that their marriage may be falling apart. In a marriage, openness and honesty are vital to meet the needs of you and your spouse. A marriage is placed on a course of almost definite destruction by shutting your spouse out of one's life by refusing to talk or listen to them.
Communicate with your spouse by sharing your thoughts and feelings, talk to each other and try to resolve any outstanding issues by listening to one another. Sharing your thoughts and feelings through an open communication will help a couple's marriage. When emotions that have been bottled up are inevitably released, it can lead to resentment, arguments, and lead to other problems. Good open communication depends on stating your issue in a calm and respectful manner. Greater and deeper intimacy can be achieved by sharing what is in your heart with your spouse. Use the words 'I think' rather then 'I feel' in a sentence. You are expressing a thought and not a feeling by doing that. Or, when addressing a person's behavior use the sentence "When you [fill in the issue here]it makes me feel…". Your partner will fully understand your emotions and reactions by doing that in this great way.
When on the receiving end of the issue at hand, remember to take the time to listen to your partner. Listening and hearing what your spouse is saying are two different things. To fully understand what the other person is saying, you need to let your partner say everything he or she has to say, and then react to them in an equally calm and respectful manner. Remember not to reject your spouse's feelings by saying things like 'Don't worry, be happy' or 'You shouldn't feel that way'. Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it.
Do not react at the time you hear the complaint, for after hearing what your partners issue is with your behavior, the key is to stay calm and respectful. How does the issue affect you, your spouse, your marriage and try to take time to think about their feelings. If you react with your feelings rather than your thoughts, you are not stopping to think about the issue and you are just reacting with your feelings without thinking. Your spouse will not understand your feelings if you are screaming or shouting trying to resolve an issue.
You must find a solution to resolve the problem, that is the most important thing. Nothing is achieved by hoping the problem will just disappear or focusing on the point that there may not be a solution to your problem. There is always a solution to every problem but, the solution usually depends on behavior modification on both of your parts.
When it comes to saving your marriage, changing the way you communicate is definitely effective. Although it might be hard at first, it is better than resorting to divorce when the relationship turns bad.
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