Now the yelling is over, you just have to own up that you are no longer an item That was certainly one disagreeable experience of your life and now it's all water off a duck's back.

But there is just one meager remaining dilemma. You see, you are not happy to let the happening finish there.

Now that you have been apart for a while, you kind of get that sensation that you want to get back with your ex. The only quandary is that you don't really know how to go about it. If you regularly try to contact your ex you are in danger of being under suspicion of nuisance. However, if you don't try and communicate, then your ex will nevermore know how you feel.

The incongruity of the plight is that your ex may be thinking exactly the same thing as you. They desire to get back together, only they don't want to communicate with you in case it just leads to a further yelling duel.

So, what is the most fitting wrinkle to use when you itch to get back with your ex?

Well, let me tell you, I've been there, bought the teeshirt - and, have already donated that very same teeshirt to my local charity store.

Foremost, bear in mind that you and your ex at first hitched up together because you were each charmed to one another. So, as frightful as your current situation may seem, it is unquestionably anything but helpless. Unless you have had a personality transplant, or radical cosmetic surgery, then those aspects that you are blessed with that first attracted your ex still survive.

Next, do not consign to oblivion what exceptional characteristics of your ex originally tempted you. This is important because any rekindling of a friendship has to be a two-way undertaking. You need to centralize on what features of your ex you liked otherwise, when you finally do meet up, you'll subconsciously be broadcasting the incorrect signals.

Having thought about the common attraction you once displayed for each other, now you must contrive a dialogue. But, take heed, this step is filled with dangers; fluff it and you can wave adios to your relationship.

In today's world, there are countless ways to communicate. Apart from the obvious talking together, in person or at the other end of a phone, there is a multitude of electronic means. Online instant messaging, email, text messaging, Facebook, twitter... I could go on, but no matter how many distinct ways I listed, I'm sure you could think of an extra one or two. So, just make up the list yourself.

For all that, which ways and means should you utilize when trying to get in touch with an ex?

Well, since you know you ex intimately, you without fail know their choice means of communication. Very likely, you yourself will have another favourite. The best option, unless you are categorically sure that you ex has been dispatching out the come-on signals, is to choose an impartial means of contact.

This choice may at first seem odd, but deliberate this. Say your ex is a Facebook enthusiast. Well, you may think that Facebook is the best way to make that first experimental approach.

Explicitly not.

If you ex is not yet geared up to favor a reconciliation, then by encroaching on their favourite domain they may well assume that you are invading their territory.

So, a neutral means of approach it is?

But, what should your lead off missive to your ex be? Unquestionably not along the lines of: "I can't live without you. I want you back." Then you go on to launch into an Oscar winning acceptance speech, full of off the cuff candor and misguided musings - despite the numerous rehearsals.

That kind of begging is inclined to set the Notra Dame alarms ringing.

No, your most desirable option is to keep the message short and sweet. Give them an excuse to respond. Ask them a question. The kind of question that carries no likelihood of being received as an allegation. Something along the lines of: Did I leave my brown pair of shoes with you? Now you know that you would not on your life leave your shoes anywhere and your ex will know that too. So, this kind of question will not feel intimidating and it will give your ex grounds to get back to you - if they want to.

If your ex doesn't reply then don't persist. Let things remain quiet for a week or two. Then give it another gentle try.

If your second venture fails to bring a reaction then you just have to stop trying to maneuver a contact.

At this juncture it might be desirable to put some feelers out to mutual friends that you both share. See if you can get any positive feedback from those friends. If not, then be prepared to sit it out for a time.

Having reached this juncture you are categorically in need of some good relationship teaching. There are ways and means, but you genuinely need to know what you are doing and appreciate the dynamics of the circumstances.

Believe me, I know. I've made every mistake in the book, and suffered many hours of extreme angst, before I eventually stumbled upon the magic formula. However, also believe me, with the right teaching you can cut the odds and get your ex back. I'm living evidence of that...

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