How to Deal With Conflict About Different Beliefs in New Relationships
- Author Bellaisa Filippis
- Published May 3, 2011
- Word count 487
The first disagreement can turn into a fight quickly! And that can lead to questions about the solidity of the relationship and whether or not you want to move forward with it. It’s natural to feel like that. The first bit of tension in a relationship is going to be upsetting to the core because you have never had to deal with negative feelings with that person yet.
New relationships starts out with common interests and shared beliefs, but the truth is you don’t really know everything about them and their belief system yet and sometimes when a belief completely different then yours shows up it can quickly turn into a negative situation.
What To Do When You Have a Disagreement about Your Beliefs
So since most people don't spill everything about themselves right away it can be quite a shock when you find out your partner is different then you. The revealing moment can be over something as simple as who is the funniest comedian in the world to something as personal as their religious beliefs.
The first thing to do is remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion and belief system. They have gathered information their whole lives to become the person that they are right now. So if you tell them that they are wrong in their beliefs, then they will essentially hear that you think their whole life has been a series of wrong choices.
Secondly they don’t have to think like you do. This is the beauty of being a human! We all have different values and ideas that make us unique. So do not force your ideas and beliefs on someone else, and do not make the situation worse by demanding the other person admit that your way of thinking is the only way.
Lastly, instead of arguing about it you can accept them for who they are and decide whether their belief is a deal-breaker to your new relationship. Take some time to really think about whether or not the belief in question is going to affect you consistently in the relationship or whether you can let it go. You do not want to bring it up again later in the relationship as it should be dealt with right now.
You should not stay in the relationship with the intention of changing their beliefs for your happiness because chances are you will not succeed, and the issue will still be there for as long as you stay in the relationship.
On the other hand, if you find you can live with their way of thinking and accept it, then move on with the relationship and do just that. Let them know that you are okay with their beliefs and that you accept them for who they are. This will go a long way to strengthen your new relationship and keep it heading on the right track.
For more advice for new relationships and how to keep new relationships healthy visit Bellaisa's website, the Relationship Circle.
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