How Solving Your Disagreements Can Save Your Marriage
- Author Matt Reese
- Published May 11, 2011
- Word count 563
As much as nobody likes them, disagreements are part of every relationship. Couples get divorced many times just because of an unresolved disagreement. Disagreements will happen in the best of marriages, because you can't agree on everything all of the time, and you must learn to solve them as soon as possible.
As soon as a disagreement happens, always try to discuss it right away rather than waiting until later. The issue will only get larger if, not right then and there, you don't try to resolve the issue at hand which is very necessary. Even though you can't always avoid a disagreement, by changing the way you talk will make a difference. Arguing with one another will do no good.
Arguments will undoubtedly lead to breakdowns in the communication between the couple, which causes even more problems. An open mind is one of the best things to have when talking to one another. The following tips can help you to continue a discussion without getting into a disagreement.
A great tip is to remember during the discussion is to refrain from being defensive. Defensiveness will only cause your spouse to argue more and it may lead to more strains in your marriage. Also, do not bring up past mistakes. Small disagreements can turn complicated and serious arguments by the bad habit of bringing up past mistakes.
Forgiveness is the key to a good marriage. Having forgiveness is like having a reset button on your marriage. You must learn forgiveness because any small past problems and baggage that is brought up, may turn into a huge problem.
Don't ever fall into negative patterns in your relationship to each other. Emotionally and/or physically hurting your spouse are some of those negative patterns.
Sometimes the only way that someone can express their hurt is to hurt back. You will only, without a doubt, hurt your marriage, not your partner, by trying to cause hurt back. "Enough is enough" your spouse may tell you one day and your marriage will be over for good.
Many things can cause disagreements. But these disagreements can be avoided when certain behaviors are modified. In a relationship, jealousy should be avoided in all discussions and recognize it when it appears. Jealousy can lead to irrational thoughts, feelings and actions leading to arguments and defensiveness in your spouse.
Never be an undependable spouse and always keep your promises. Promises that are broken will pave the way for distrust in the marriage. By actually doing something you said you would do, you most definitely will not get into an argument. Replace any unhealthy behaviors with a positive one like support. Showing support to your spouse tells them that you are willing to stick with them through thick and thin.
Always be willing to support your partner when it seems they have a problem, and support them by being willing to listen to them about their problem. After listening to their problem, if you are sure that they are wrong, do not express your thoughts right away. Try to show that you understand how they are feeling about the problem.
Try to encourage them to come up with a solution to their problem on their own. In this way you can be a good example for your spouse so the next disagreement will contain a better understanding and respect for one another.
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