A marriage must contain communication as it is an extremely important role in the relationship. The main reason that a marriage starts to fall apart is because there is a breakdown in the communication between the couple. You and your spouse must have openness and honesty so that both your needs will be met which is vital to a marriage. A marriage is placed on a course of almost definite destruction by shutting your spouse out of one's life by refusing to talk or listen to them.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another and listening and spending time trying to solve any issues that were talked about is all part of the big communication package. In order to share their thoughts and feelings, a couple must have open communications in order to do it. Bottled up emotions usually leads to resentment, arguments, and problems when the emotions are inevitably released. Good open communication depends on stating your issue in a calm and respectful manner. Achieving a deeper and greater intimacy with your spouse can be had just by sharing what is in your heart with them. Instead of the words 'I feel' in a sentence, use 'I think' in their place. You are expressing a thought and not a feeling by doing that. Try using the sentence "When you [fill in the issue here] it makes me feel..." when addressing a person's behavior. This is a great way to get your partner to fully understand your emotions and reactions.

Remember to take the time to listen to your partner when you are on the receiving end of the issue at hand. Merely hearing what the person is saying and listening are two different things. You need to let your partner say everything she or he has to say to fully understand what the other person is saying, then react to them in an equally calm and respectful manner. Remember not to reject your spouse's feelings by saying things like 'Don't worry, be happy' or 'You shouldn't feel that way'. Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it.

The key to staying calm and respectful after hearing your partners issue with your behavior is to not react at the time you hear the complaint. How does the issue affect you, your spouse, your marriage and try to take time to think about their feelings. When you react first without stopping to think, you are reacting with your feelings rather then your thoughts. Shouting and screaming to resolve a problem will not help and they will not make your spouse understand your feelings any better.

You must find a solution to resolve the problem, that is the most important thing. Nothing is achieved by hoping the problem will just disappear or focusing on the point that there may not be a solution to your problem. There is always a solution to every problem but, the solution usually depends on behavior modification on both of your parts.

Changing the way you communicate is definitely effective when it comes to saving your marriage. Resorting to divorce when a relationship turns bad must be avoided at all costs, no matter how hard it seems you must try and save the marriage.