One of the most important roles in a marriage is the role of communication between the couple. A couple that has no communication between them in a marriage will soon find that their marriage may be falling apart. You and your spouse must have openness and honesty so that both your needs will be met which is vital to a marriage. By shutting your spouse out of one's life by refusing to talk or to listen to them, a marriage is placed on a course of almost definite destruction.

Among other things, communication is about sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another and listening and spending time thinking about what was said in order to resolve any issues. A couple needs open communication in order to be able to share their thoughts and feelings. Bottled up emotions usually leads to resentment, arguments, and problems when the emotions are inevitably released. Stating your issue in a calm and respectful manner will open up good communication. With what is in your heart, and sharing it with your spouse, you can achieve a greater and deeper intimacy with them. Instead of the words 'I feel' in a sentence, use 'I think' in their place. This way you have expressed a thought and not a feeling. Or, when addressing a person's behavior use the sentence "When you [fill in the issue here] it makes me feel…". Your partner will fully understand your emotions and reactions by doing that in this great way.

When on the receiving end of the issue at hand, remember to take the time to listen to your partner. Merely hearing what the person is saying and listening are two different things. You need to let your partner say everything she or he has to say to fully understand what the other person is saying, then react to them in an equally calm and respectful manner. Remember not to reject your spouse's feelings by saying things like 'Don't worry, be happy' or 'You shouldn't feel that way'. Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it.

Do not react at the time you hear the complaint, for after hearing what your partners issue is with your behavior, the key is to stay calm and respectful. How does the issue affect you, your spouse, your marriage and try to take time to think about their feelings. When you react first without stopping to think, you are reacting with your feelings rather then your thoughts. Shouting and screaming to resolve a problem will not help and they will not make your spouse understand your feelings any better.

The most important thing is finding a solution to resolve the problem. Nothing is achieved by hoping the problem will just disappear or focusing on the point that there may not be a solution to your problem. There is always a solution to every problem but, the solution usually depends on behavior modification on both of your parts.

When it comes to saving your marriage, changing the way you communicate is definitely effective. Resorting to divorce when a relationship turns bad must be avoided at all costs, no matter how hard it seems you must try and save the marriage.