Why do some relationships fail while other relationships stay strong? Why do some people seem so happy in their relationship while other people are miserable and bicker all the time? The number one reason for it is expectations, or what they want or desire to happen in the relationship.

Everyone has their own expectations in a relationship whether they know it or not. Those expectations are formed from their parent’s examples or other people’s examples that they have experienced throughout their life. The expectations are formed out of beliefs, desires, and needs in life.

When you get in a relationship you know how you want things to be but you don’t express that because you are too busy getting into the new relationship and being on your best behaviour.  You don’t want to tell your partner that you expect them to show you love every day, or take out the trash, or raise your future kids in a certain way, because that’s not what new relationships involve. But those issues are going to come up eventually in the relationship and that’s why it is important to talk about it early.

The main reason why some relationships fail is because the people in it don’t have the same expectations in a committed relationship.  The relationship failure can be avoided by talking about those expectations in the beginning. Following are some of the top issues that arise because of difference of expectations.

Money Issues

Money is the biggest reason relationships fail according to many studies. Not being able to agree on how to spend your money is a huge factor in relationships ending. You both have your own way of viewing money. One of you may be more frugal than the other. One of you may want to spend money in investments while one of you wants to live it up and spend money on vacations. There are many differences of opinion about money that can cause arguments, and those opinions need to be expressed right from the beginning to avoid the surprise and anger that comes our of your differences.

Commitment Issues

In the beginning you were naturally devoted to each other’s needs and wants in the relationship, but sometimes that commitment to one another can start to go downhill.

For example, you expect your partner to compliment you everyday but he has stopped completely. Or you expect your partner to spend time with you at night but she would rather sit on the computer. Or you expected to grow together as a couple but instead of growing together you have started to take different paths as individuals, and you tend not share your new lives with each other.

If you start to not put effort into satisfying your partner’s commitment expectations in the relationship then they are naturally going to feel neglected and less close to you in the relationship. If this goes on for too long it can become a major issue that results in the relationship ending.

Relationship Needs

If one person finds that there needs are not being met in the relationship anymore they may search out new people to help fulfill those needs.

This does not always mean sexually, as in cheating with someone else, but it does include that situation. Many people's sexual needs will go unfulfilled for a long time before they seek out someone outside of the relationship to fill those needs. This is why sexual expectations need to be discussed.

Besides sexually one person may feel that their emotional needs are not being met and start to seek friendships outside of the relationship. The other person may offer support that their partner doesn’t offer, or compassion that their partner doesn’t offer.

Quickly your Saturday night dates become time spent with someone else. The partner left behind gets jealous and upset and the relationship starts to suffer. Fulfilling each others needs for support, compassion, love, acceptance, and understanding is very important in a relationship.

These are 3 huge reasons that relationship fail and they all stem from expectations of what a relationship should be. The best way to avoid the relationship failure is to clearly lay out your expectations of what you want in a relationship in all aspects of it right from the beginning.

If you find that you are already in trouble then you need to sit down and discuss your relationship expectations with each other and find out why your partner doesn’t feel satisfied or happy in the relationship. Once you accept and work on those issues you will find the relationship begins to improve.