Do you know a recruit for the "What Happened Club"? She’s person who is scratching her head while her boyfriend broke up with her over the phone. She can’t figure out what happened and what went wrong. She and her friends are gathered together and the relationship is reviewed over Cosmos and old movies. Sadly, she still doesn’t realize what happened to her relationship. You know her? She’s you. Welcome to the club.

It’s horrible when you realize your relationship is on the rocks. You sit him down to talk about the problems. The relationship isn’t bad; it’s only a few small problems in the relationship, right? You see it as fixable, he sees it as over. Why is there such a difference?

The obvious answer is that men and women think differently. Think of it this way…you think your talk moved your relationship into repair mode but he thinks you wasted your breath. You pleaded until your knees were raw. He, instead, ignored the problem and agreed to whatever you had to say. In his mind, he has already emotionally checked out and declared the relationship is over. He may hang out physically for a few more days or months but in time, he will go.

Don’t talk him into staying with you. Rather, give him reason to stay with you. Put memories of you on his mind that make him want to come back to you. Send kisses in his lunch box or perfumed lingerie in his briefcase. You know what makes your man respond so do whatever you can do to make him respond to you. This idea is to make him think "happy thoughts" when he thinks of you.

Your man will play and laugh with his boys when he needs a good time. He will go to his mother for good "home cooked meals". Why does he come to you?

Your job is to excite him in a manner no one else can. Find out what makes him smile and keep him. You can see it in a man’s face when he loves his woman. Make him look at you with those eyes and watch the problems you have dissipate. Keep your mind out of the gutter; sex is fun but it doesn’t mean love. Being sexy will get his attention but it won’t keep him in a relationship.

Use what you have at your disposal to your advantage. If you live with him, your access to intelligence is unlimited. If you don’t, do not fear. Your Intel is at your fingertips. Watch and listen to him; does he have a rhythm? Can you stash a love note or a piece of candy into his day? Send a perfumed note to encourage him for an upcoming meeting. Lift his spirits; congratulate him on a job well done. Take him lunch when you know he’s too busy to eat. Single ladies should be careful with this. Don’t use your "fun thought" to intrude. Married ladies, you’re arrival should never be an intrusion. Just keep it brief and breezy.

Stop trying to talk him into staying. Do what you can to keep him interested in you because he’ll stay.