Insults are easy to give. We give them all the time! We write books dedicated to insults that you can use for almost anyone out there, but good luck finding a book on compliments you can shout out to someone walking down the street.

Giving a compliment means we have to admit that someone is doing something good. This can hurt our ego when that something is a task that we consider ourselves good at. We don’t want to make the other person feel that they are better than us, even if it will make them feel good about themselves. Sadly, we don’t just do this to strangers but also to the people closest to us.

When our partner does something well we might feel as though they did a great job but hold back the compliment so that our pride doesn’t get hurt. We’ve all done it. They do the dishes faster than we have ever been able to do them. They solve a problem around the house that we spent countless hours trying to figure out. Whatever it is we don’t want to make them feel too good about themselves so we just say nothing. What a mistake!

While the ego may stand in the way of some compliments your self-esteem will never get in the way of dishing out a good "You are great at that!" once you see how good you feel about yourself afterwards. When you give a compliment to someone, and watch their self-esteem take a boost, your self- esteem also enjoys a boost for being the one to make them feel good. Compliments are good for everyone’s ‘feel good’ power, and you should want to make your partner feel good.

The great thing about making your partner feel good is that they are going to want to naturally return the favor. This creates a circle of compliments and good feelings that in turn create a deeper connection between the two of you. The deeper connection spills into every area of your relationship and affects it in a positive way. Better conversations, more laughter, more sex, and fonder feelings towards each other naturally occur when the relationship is more positive.

The goal of your compliment is to uplift your partner and make them feel good, so make sure you really hit them where it counts. The things that they take pride in, the things they do for you, the things they spend a lot of time on, and the things you know they need encouragement with all deserve compliments from you.

And remember, the sooner you give the compliment after they have accomplished something good the better it will be received. So if your partner makes a delicious supper then tell them that as soon as you start eating for the biggest impact on them. If you wait until next weekend to talk about what a great supper they made they may hardly even appreciate it at that point.