Online Affairs - How to Spot Online Infidelity in Your Relationship

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Barry West
  • Published April 17, 2012
  • Word count 755

There seems to be a very fine line between a little harmless flirting and cheating when it comes to the internet and activities online. At one stage or another whilst in a happy relationship most of us have received the seemingly random flirtatious message from a friend of a friend, merely boosting our ego’s, helping us get through the day and throwing in some ‘feel good factor’ points for good measure. It’s a bit of harmless fun, the exchange of kind words (of the flirtatious nature), general chit-chat and it’s all over in jiffy.. or is it?

You see, it’s these seemingly "random" messages that can spawn the beginning of what can only be described as illicit intentions, essentially allowing the host to board the infidelity train to Cheatsville. Now we’re not for one minute saying everyone who receives a compliment over a social networking website is simply going to up-sticks and attempt to move in with their new found admirer, however for those wanting the best of both worlds, it’s usually much more sinister and calculating.

The truth of the matter is, it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference if an individual intentionally scouted around online looking for something "on the side", or if they were contacted themselves only to allow harmless messages become something a whole lot more – infidelity online is RIFE in today’s modern relationship.

Fortunately, there are warning signs to look out for that may help you identify a cheating partner in the act.

  1. The computer get’s more attention than you

Now this can be misinterpreted. For example working from home may require a partner to spend considerable amount of time on the home computer, video games are also a huge factor in computing overtime – don’t jump to conclusions!

That being said, average Joe working 9-5 shouldn’t be returning home from work every night only to spend the rest of the evening and early hours alone on the computer, ignoring their significant other and only communicating when absolutely necessary. There’s a good reason so much time is being invested on a home machine, if your partner hasn’t mentioned any fascinating new projects or online learning courses, it’s certainly something to consider.

  1. Regular deletion of browsing history

Again, this can be misinterpreted. Deletion of browsing history could be due to any number of things, for example it’s no secret that both males AND females have let’s say ‘personal’ websites of an adult nature they like to visit, it’s nothing to be embarrassed over but it is somewhat personal. Secret gifts, virus removal software and computer problems can also explain the deletion of browser history.

Whilst the above is easily explained, it could indicate something more serious. Serial online cheats often create fake aliases, email addresses and profiles – essentially creating themselves a new virtual identity, someone they aspire to be. It can be quite a time consuming process, and will involve regular deletion of browsing history to ensure their new identity isn’t discovered by a partner or family member.

  1. Obsessive privacy control

We all like a bit of privacy on a shared computer, it’s completely natural. Passwording our social networking profiles and various online services is standard practice, however online cheats have a tendency to become over obsessive in terms of privacy and safeguarding. The vast majority of online cheats want the best of both worlds, often juggling a family, steady job and home with seedy internet meetings and a secret virtual lover. The thought of being discovered simply isn’t imaginable or an option for that matter, they’ll do what ever it takes to hide the truth.

Hiding the truth comes at great cost, paranoia and anxiety. The constant "what ifs?" will almost certainly play on ones mind resulting in the them constantly looking over your shoulder, delegating time limits and monitoring your activities whilst simultaneously acting rather uneasy.

  1. Unannounced overtime or emergency’s

Although not all, but most online cheats often plan on meeting with a new or potential lover at some stage. In most cases this is going to cause an inconvenience as a an unsuspecting partner is at home waiting for them. What better way to create time then lie about an overtime offer that can’t be refused as amazingly they are the only ones available. Watch out for apparently unannounced overtime, emergency call outs and so called business trips, especially if you notice a reoccurring theme.

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