Anger...Fuel For Success or Addiction?
- Author James C. Tanner
- Published November 5, 2007
- Word count 1,040
In the 1900's, much time and energy has been spent by those in the psychological community trying to come to a place of greater understanding and definition on various forms of behavioral and relational dysfunctions. While every form of dysfunction can have it's crippling characteristics, none is more dangerous than that of the Anger Addict or Rageaholic.
Have you ever known someone, or perhaps you, yourself, ever been so angry that you felt your cheeks get warm as they turned red? How about kicking the dog, just because it's in the way? Due to anger, broken out in a sweat? Found yourself shaking or trembling with rage? Felt so angry that you wanted to throw a stereo through your ex spouse's car windshield? Been angry enough you couldn't even carry a conversation? Wanted to smash or break something, or someone, just to vent your rage? Have you found yourself in the past yelling at people without even thinking? Snapping at your children, your husband, your wife, your co-workers, your friends, or complete strangers who cut you off on the freeway? Intentionally cut in front of another driver, when they just did it to you? Chased another vehicle down a freeway just to make a point? Pulled in front of a vehicle on the freeway and then slowed way down to let the driver behind you know what it feels like to sit behind a slow driver? Have you ever been told you have a short fuse, or are like a ticking time bomb? Do you privately feel like you're losing a grip on your life?
Anger is one of our most normal basic emotions. In it's proper place, and proper balance, it's a perfectly healthy response. But for many, anger is much more.
Anger opens inner flood gates that allows adrenalin to flood throughout our bodies and our brains. It generates a "Superman" scenario where one feels totally powerful, and totally hyped, ready to take on the world. Often in the face of extreme sports, when an athlete is reaching the end of his or her physical ability, you may hear a coach start to yell, "Wake Up! Get Angry!" That coach is calling on that athlete to tap into a rush of adrenalin that anger can generate. The rush is so powerful and feels so strong and good, many of us want to experience it again and again, so with, or with-out realizing it, we choose to stay in a semi-constant state of anger or rage. The scenario becomes very similar to an alcoholic who sneaks little sips of alcohol between drunken binges. The Anger Addict or Rageaholic hides or finds ways to hold onto small amounts of anger between the extreme "addictive binges" of outrage.
When this becomes your lifestyle, you are a "drunk". Not drunk with alcohol, but drunk and addicted to the adrenalin rush created by this state of being. Your thinking becomes impaired. You're able to justify your outrageous behavior. And someone else is always to blame for your problems in life, no matter what the truth is. You know you're wrong, and quietly, you know you've got a problem, but on the other hand, when you're not angry, WOW you sure do miss that powerful feeling! You crave that next hit of adrenalin. You need it. You're hooked. You can't live without it. The only way you're going to get it is to explode and hurt the people you love or those who love you, but you need that hit of adrenalin. So you give in and do it again...and again...and again...and again. Sometimes in between "binges" you may utter those words, "I'm sorry! It'll never happen again!" Then you feel that craving again for more adrenalin.
Denial keeps anger trapped. Rageaholics, like other addictive personalities, refuse to admit that there is a problem. Until forced to face their issue, anger addicts will go through life believing in their minds that everything is fine and they will seldom admit that they were ever wrong. Denial guarantees that the process or cycle of rage and righteous indignation will continue.
Anger has a detoxification period, just with any addiction. The initial stage of detoxification is considered to be a minimum of 90 days. The full detoxification process can take as long as a few years depending on the extremity of the case. Rageaholics must address not only psychological issues but correct nutritional issues as well. The stress of harboring long term anger does result in several nutritional deficiencies. Rage is a shame based expression of anger. It is by definition, abuse. If a Rageaholic wants life then they have to be continually free over the longterm of anger, just as an alcoholic has to be continually free from alcohol.
Rageaholics are harboring feelings or thoughts of resentment and they fantasize about revenge. Sometimes this is all they think about. Rageaholics will utter threats such as to destroy a person, but not just destroy a person, a Rageaholic will be more descriptive. A Rageaholic will threaten to destroy a person in detail such as, mentally, physically, financially, etc. A Rageaholic will then, over a course of years, commit themselves to that course of action, for when the force of anger becomes so strong it is sometimes irresistible and the anger is then followed by action. The "wrongs" of others, the craving for adrenalin, and the want for revenge continually leads to rage. The life of a Rageaholic eventually becomes chronically revenge-oriented. At that point anger takes over completely. On the flip side, for those who are forced to live with a person who is an anger addict, they often become extremely boundary focused in an attempt to maintain a secure zone around themselves.
Anger addiction or "rageaholism" is the compulsive pursuit of a mood change by repeatedly engaging in episodes of rage despite adverse consequences. Rageaholics will continue to rage or execute their anger based motivations compulsively without regard or remorse to the negative impact or consequences.
The good news is, there is a cure. There are excellent anger management programs available in most communities. Become informed. Break free of the bondage of anger addiction. Grab hold of the excellence that life has to offer.
James C. Tanner of http://www.silent-wonder.com, and ofhttp://www.whats-he-like.com is a retired entrepreneur, a former special investigator, and a published writer whose articles and written comments are enjoyed by 12.5 million readers monthly.
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