Cheating Wife: How To Deal With Cheating In Your Relationship and Marriage

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Cucan Pemo
  • Published January 23, 2008
  • Word count 782

Some believe that it is men who cheat more than woman. Most polls and studies, however, show that either the two cheat the same amount, or that women cheat more than men. It's not surprising, really. Women are very emotional creatures, and if their emotions are not catered to, they will go somewhere else.

This does not mean that it is your fault if your wife is cheating on you. The fact is, cheating should never happen. If a relationship is deteriorating that badly, the wife should be able to go to you, or vice versa, so you can discuss the situation.

Sometimes it is too late to fix the situation because your wife has already cheated. If this is the case, here are some rules you may want to follow when you're trying to handle a cheating wife.

Rule #1: Don't Always Believe What She Says

If you have proof of cheating, confront her with it. Explain to her that you know that she has cheated on you and tell her how it makes you feel. Depending on the type of woman she is, she may jump into the discussion with a lot of excuses.

Here are some classic ones: "What was I supposed to do? You weren't emotionally there for me." "I was just so lonely. You're never home." "It was a one time thing. A total fluke. It will never happen again." "I cheated on you because I know that you cheated on me. I was getting even."

Women tend to jump to the defense very quickly, which means that sometimes they do not know what is coming out of their mouth. She may say one thing during the discussion only to forget that she would even said it. Do not automatically believe what she is saying.

Rule #2: Don't Play 'Pin The Blame'

It is classic for a woman to turn the fact that she cheated back on her husband. She will claim that she only did so because he was not there when she needed him, or because she felt that he did not love her anymore.

Never let her place the blame on your shoulders. If you have stayed faithful to your wife, the blame lies entirely on her shoulders and no one else's. She is the one that made the decision to sleep with another man, and you should not feel guilty about it.

Rule #3: Watch Out For Friends

Some women will enlist the help of their friends. They will convince their friends to call you to say that your wife was not cheating, or that she only did so once.

Some will even say that it was them that was involved with the other person, and that your wife was only trying to help the relationship along. Unless the friends have proof, ignore them. They are just being faithful to your wife, which is a good thing.

After all, you should want your wife's closest friends to be faithful, even if their faith is a bit misplaced. But what goes on in your relationship is between you and your wife and no one else.

Rule #4: Therapy

If this is indeed the first time that your wife has cheated, and you want to salvage the relationship, you may want to suggest couple's therapy.

Couple's therapy will give you the chance to talk to one another with a therapist present so that you can get down to the core of the problem and to what caused her to stray in the first place.

You will both be able to discover if you can forgive or not, and if the relationship will have a chance or if you should cut your losses.

If you suggest therapy and your wife will not agree to it, cut your losses and run. Any wife that wants to get her marriage to work will agree to at least trying therapy.

A wife who vehemently rejects going into therapy with you will probably not want to work to keep your relationship alive, so instead of going through months of pain and suffering, cut your losses as quickly as you can.

Wives may cheat for different reasons than most men cheat, but the fact is that they still cheated. Make sure you talk to your friends and get your own head clear, or you'll never be able to deal with her in a positive manner.

And remember: if the relationship is meant to survive, it will. Get all the help you need using all resources available and ask for advice from people who have experienced what you are going through. Do your own research. Nothing is impossible in this world and there is always hope.

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