The Rise of the Female Best Man

FamilyMarriage

  • Author Jim Cartwright
  • Published January 30, 2008
  • Word count 667

THE RISE OF THE FEMALE BEST MAN

Choosing a best man is a dilemma for any groom. This important role requires organisation, punctuality and stacks of responsibility. Do you have anyone in mind? Well, before you decide consider the new breed of best man that's emerging: the female best man.

Yes, nowadays the groom is opting for a female best man to take on the vital speech and crucial stag do. Now fellas, we know what you're thinking, the best man should always be your best male friend, but take a second to think of the positives of having that special lady (no, not that one) by your side at the alter. Women are often more reliable, their organisational skills are often better and let's face it, the real reason you're hiring a woman is she's probably less likely to organise a stag do where you end up tied to a lamp post naked.

Recently, wedding traditions have morphed to suit the bride and groom's personal tastes. If the groom's best friend is a female, why not have her as the best man; regardless of tradition. However, as this is a relatively new trend in wedding etiquette, problems have crept in. For example, what do you call her? Best woman? What does that make the bride? Another common obstacle is what wedding attire is appropriate. If she wears a fancy gown, will your auntie sitting in the cheap seats be able to tell her apart from the bride? This could also cause the ultimate wedding no-no, outshining the bride.

Hopefully, this hasn't put you off, because in reality these are just minor details that can be avoided with a little communication and compromise. After all, this is your big day and you can do what you like.

So you've thought about it long and hard and you've made a decision. Your best man will be a woman. Now to get this thing rolling, firstly sit down with your new appointed best man and explain in detail what you are expecting from her. But be careful not to overwhelm the poor girl; don't forget she probably never thought this opportunity would arise.

Send her in the right direction by suggesting a chat with an experienced best man for inspiration, she may be a lady but there's know harm in asking the guys for tips and ideas. You must make her feel comfortable in her role by letting her know that she can come to you if anything is bothering her, for instance, arranging the all important pre-wedding bash for the stag and his friends. This will be, as you can imagine, a daunting task for your best man and will need plenty of input from you and your pals.

Clarify what you expect the stag night or stag weekend to include, but don't dictate the event as your best man will feel you don't trust her. If she's a close friend she will know what you like and dislike, so make suggestions but let her lead the way. She can quite easily arrange fantastic stag packages and stag activities through Eclipse Leisure, who will organise and arrange the perfect stag weekend so your best man can concentrate on other matters.

Last but not least; you must have complete and utter confidence in your best man, so think carefully and choose someone you are comfortable with. This is your wedding and you want it to be memorable for all the right reasons.

Congratulations, you've made a great decision in choosing this wonderful lady to be your wedding sidekick; and just think you were considering your slightly alcoholic friend who's renowned for losing his keys (not to mention his marbles) and turning up late.

He may be a good buddy, but when you look back at your wedding video you don't want to remember the moment your best man stumbled through the doors, threw up on your mother-in-law and passed you a hula hoop in place of the wedding ring.

Jim Cartwright writes for eclipseleisure.co.uk/stag-weekends, a tour operator specialising in Hen nights and Hen weekends, Stag nights and Stag weekends.

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